Season 2, Episode 1: Aired on June 11, 2007

Part 1

Previously on Big Love: The whole damn first season. But, in case you wanted specifics, here’s what HBO thought we should know, even though some of this doesn’t even come up in this episode.

After my tape briefly freaks me out by randomly cutting to ABC, we get to the good stuff: Roman, the prophet, wants his 15% of the newest Hendrickson’s Home Plus, but Bill insists that it’s a separate entity, so Roman can basically go screw himself. Nicki, Bill’s second wife, doesn’t understand why Bill can’t just like her evil, evil father, who just happens to be Roman. “I don’t want him in my homes!” we hear Bill roar again.

Then, they take us way back to the first episode where Bill’s dad, Frank, is sick. Barb says that they swore they’d never go back to Juniper Creek and that she meant it. Anyway, we found out that Frank had been poisoned with arsenic.

In other sister wife news, Margene, Bill’s third wife, watched Love Actually with her nosy, but sweet neighbor, Pam. Ben, Bill’s hot teenage son, basically tore into her, telling her that she had to be careful with who she had over, protecting the family, and blah blah blah. Finally, he asked her if she was unhappy, and in response, Margie launched herself into his arms, for a sweet, if more-than-slightly inappropriate hug.

Barb told fellow First Wife Peg that she’s having an affair with Bill and was promptly and bluntly chastised by Peg, and told that Bill was not going to leave his other wives, so Barb should just stop pretending that the situation is something that it’s not.

Speaking of Peg and Don and the other two sister wives, Wendy from Hendrickson’s Home Plus suspected Don of being a polygamist and told Bill so, not realizing that he himself is a polygamist. Don expressed concern with being “stuck in bed with Juniper Creek.”

Bill thought he’d washed his hands of Roman, but boy was he mistaken. So, he wanted eyes on the UEB Council and approached a guy named Earnest Holloway, and essentially took his seat on the council. Roman got angry.

Meanwhile, Margie’s friend Pam started to suspect Nicki of polygamy and Teeny put Barb up for Mother of the Year, a position that would very much put her out in the public eye. Oh, and Margene’s pregnant.

Then, we had the annoying Rhonda, who was to be sealed to Roman, even though she’s not even 16. She seemed very excited about marrying the Prophet. But, you know who wasn’t so much with the excitement? Heather, Sarah’s LDS friend, who told Sarah that it was wrong and that something needed to be done. Sarah quite understandably freaked at the prospect of Heather potentially outing her whole family.

Additionally, we have the Wanda-is-crazy plotline, where she has this little problem where she sort of poisons people. Yup, it was she who poisoned Frank and now she’s poisoned Roman’s son, Alby. She claims she does this to protect her husband, Joey, who also happens to be Bill’s brother. Roman got angry.

And finally, Roman outed the Hendricksons as polygamists, right as Barb was about to accept her award as Mother of the Year. She was disqualified on the spot and led off stage in front of the entire audience, including her children, in a horrifying scene that was very hard to watch. “I got what I deserved,” Barb despaired to her fellow sister wives.

Whew. Got all that? I may have to look into compiling a FAQ for new viewers. Let me know what you think about that in the comments.

Two minutes of previouslies? Really, HBO? Luckily, this was the premiere, so it’s unlikely they’ll do that again, but geez. On to the actual episode.

Credits. God only knows how Jeanne Tripplehorn really feels about Waterworld.

We open up on blue skies and pan down to Sister Wife Central, settling on Barb’s house, where Nicki and Margene are figuring out the weekly chores. Margene keeps piping in and saying she can do things, but Nicki keeps shooting her down with flimsy excuses, like “You have enough to do.” She won’t even let Margie cook dinner. Have I mentioned yet that I can’t stand Nicki? No? Well, I can’t. Just so you know. Also, Ginnifer Goodwin looks like she’s lost some weight that she really didn’t need to lose. Particularly in her face. Maybe that’s just me, though.

Bill wanders in, talking on the phone. We focus on a radio that’s giving a report on the Third Annual Safety Net Meeting that was held at the University of Utah, where representatives from seven communities of polygamists met with the Attorney General’s Office. I’m not sure what this has to do with anything currently, but since they focused on it, I figured I would, too.

Bill looks out the kitchen window and watches Barb do some pretty vigorous laps in the pool. Jeanne looks fantastic, by the way. But I still feel as though she probably wasn’t thrilled with the underwater shots of her thighs wobbling past the camera, all “Hi, mom!”

Bill dusts whoever he’s talking to and talks to some guy named Lee, who I think is his lawyer. He tells him he needs to find out who exposed them and wants Lee to find a contact at the First Lady’s Office. They’d need to talk to the First Lady’s Office because she’s the one who put on the Mother of the Year thing.

Nicki and Margene. Margie actually needs a new back door mat for her OWN HOUSE, so she obviously tells Nicki to let her do it. Nicki practically rolls her eyes and is all, “Margene,” as if she were talking to a child. Now, I know that Margie is immature and needs to be handled every once in a while, but MY GOD. It’s just a back door mat. How can she possibly screw that up? To me, Nicki’s behavior toward Margene all goes back to her being furious that she’s not the Boss Lady, so she figures she can just control Margene the way Barb controls everything else.

Bill walks in and tells them to get the mat at Home Plus and Margie tells him that Teeny needs to be registered for summer school, so she’ll take her.

“No, you won’t,” Bill argues. “Barb will. Guys, it’s been two weeks and she hasn’t left the house. All she does is these crosswords.” Nicki quietly says that she doesn’t seem ready. “Well, this isn’t healthy for her! I don’t think we can indulge her anymore, or coddle her. And I mean it! Either of ya!” Why is it that Paxton sometimes whips out this semi-southern accent? Also, why is it that he delivers every single one of his lines as if he’s pissed off at the world? He’s just so rude to his wives, particularly in the way he speaks to them. There was no reason for him to get all pissy just there.

Nicki waits for him to leave and then immediately moves all of her stuff over to Barb’s usual seat at the head of the table. Margene does a facial stutter and sort of looks back and forth between Nicki’s old seat and her current position in Barb’s seat. Nicki just hums cheerfully. Hee.

Barb is in her bedroom when Bill walks in and too casually asks about her swim and whether she’ll be taking Teeny in to summer school registration. “I plan on it,” Barb says tersely.

Bill: Good. (awkwardness) Okay. I’ll … see you later then. (pause) Our world can go to Hell in a hand-basket, but as long as we stick together, we’ll be alright.

I hate it when Bill does that – goes all preachy and philosophical. And it’s usually out of nowhere. Yuck. Barb clearly agrees with me because she totally doesn’t even acknowledge his existence.

Bill leaves Sister Wife Central, but is caught off guard when Nosy Neighbor Pam and her husband, Carl, wave to him hesitantly and generally act all around goofy.

Hendrickson’s Home Plus. Bill greets his employees and then he and the infamous Wendy end up walking side-by-side. Here’s what they actually said and what they really said:

Wendy: Mr. Hendrickson. How are you this morning? (I so know that you are practicing that dirty, dirty polygamy, you pig!)
Bill: Never been better, Wendy. (I will cut you.) Thank you. (Fuck you.)

It turns out that Bill has had Don ransack her desk, complete with photocopies of all of the dirt she’s pulled up on Bill and his family, as well as records of her emails and Internet activity. Bill jumps right to “She was targeting me!” But Don tries to calm him down by pointing out that all they know is that she was interested. Bill can’t handle all of this drama, so he wants a basis to fire her by the end of the week. Don hems and haws, forcing Bill to admit that he’s not 100% sure that it was she who outed them.

“But I’ve got ten souls in my charge,” he argues. “And if I can’t protect them, what kind of man am I?” Because I am a dork, I did the math on my own and he is right. For once.

Now he wants Don to tap her phone. “Tap her phone?! I can’t tap a phone!” Heh. But Bill walks all over him just like he walks all over his wives.

Summer school registration. Summer School Lady, Julie, apologizes for what happened at the Mother of the Year thing. “We were rooting for you,” she tells Barb. And I really thought she was being sincere here. But then she asks if Barb was planning on getting back to teaching any time soon. Barb falters a little and says that she hoped to. Julie just makes an “hmm” noise and smiles awkwardly at Barb, without saying anything. Barb is concerned.

Home Plus. Joey has stopped by to update Bill on the whole Alby-getting-poisoned thing. He’s been transferred to a private clinic and rumors have been flying. First, it was that he’d had kidney failure, then that he’d gotten a kidney transplant, then that he’d died on the operating table. And Joey rattles all of this off as if it’s not completely absurd. Heh.

Bill seems to be following until the dying part and gets all, “whoa, whoa, whoa,” explaining that you can’t get a kidney that fast and that they’d obviously have heard if Alby had died.

Apparently, Wanda is going to be questioned at a Good and Welfare Meeting. That sounds like a fun thing, but apparently it’s not. Bill is not really concerned and Lois is not really sympathetic to Crazy Wanda. We learn that Wanda has done this before, to Joey’s boss in Phoenix. Joey thought she was better, due to “vitamins and exercise.” Isn’t that what Tom Cruise prescribes for his patients?

Bill says they’ll get her some real help and also points out that she could obviously be arrested, as could the three of them for being accessories in a cover-up after the fact. “His kidneys could still fail,” Lois adds hopefully. Bill just sighs, all “Why me?”

Sister Wife Central. Barb and Sarah come home and Sarah suggests that not everyone knows or cares. Barb admits that when she thinks about the look on Sarah’s face at the Mother of the Year thing, she “just wants to die.” “It’s okay, Mom,” Sarah assures her. “I get called Plyggy every day at work.” Hee. Barb doesn’t think it’s as funny as I do.

“I don’t want the choices that I’ve made – the things that have happened to me – to ruin your life.” Sarah tells her to stop, but Barb plunges forward, asking her if she’d like to change schools or go out of state for college. “I want you to have choices.”

But Sarah is having none of it, telling her mother to take her off her worry list. She’s okay. Barb does not look like she feels any better.

Home Plus. Margene is shopping (yay Margie!), when she sees Nicki up ahead of her. She catches up.

Margene: What are you doing here?
Nicki: What does it look like I’m doing? What are you doing here?
Margene: Nicki! I said I would do the shopping.
Nicki: No, Margie, I said I would do it.
Margene: Maybe you’re not the only one who can do things.
Nicki: Don’t get snippy. (oh, is that the pot calling the kettle black, or what?)
Margene: Well, you asked for it.
Nicki: There’s gotta be a strong center or things will not hold. The way Barb is going, who knows when she’ll be back on her feet. So, whether you like it or not, this is a role that I have to take on. It’s for Barb, it’s for Bill. It’s for all of us.

I get her point, but she needs to delegate, like Barb did. And she needs to stop acting like Margie is one of her kids instead of her sister wife. Also? It’s a nice touch that Margie has the mat in her cart. I luff continuity. ConYay!

Anyway! Nicki sees Wendy standing a bit away and looks like she’s about to go psycho on her ass. And if you remember the smack down she gave Barb’s sister last year, you know she means business. Margie intervenes, however, and they continue their shopping. But not before Wendy notices them, too.

Stay tuned for Part 2!

Miss Cordy is a senior at the University of Central Florida in Orlando. She is seeking a double-major in Political Science and Advertising / Public Relations. She has written for her local newspaper, focusing on the world of entertainment — movies and television. Her favorite movies are the Lord of the Rings series and her favorite TV shows are Heroes, Lost, The Amazing Race and Dancing with the Stars.

The Outer Limits was a science fiction anthology series created by Leslie Stevens, with some help from Joseph Stefano (who also wrote the screenplay for Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho). It came into being towards the end of Rod Serling's Twilight Zone run, it began in 1963, while Twilight Zone ran from 1959 to 1964. The two shows have a lot in common, first and foremost strong writing, the anthology format, the twist, and being able to stand the test of time. As I watch, realizing just how good it is, I recognize that there is no way that it would get made in today's television climate. Not to say that there are no shows today that can match its quality, it is just that television has changed, the landscape is a vastly different, and in many ways rockier terrain to navigate.

Smartly written, The Outer Limits was a series that aimed to raise a mirror up against society and perhaps make us question things around us, things we take for granted, make us look at the world from a slightly different perspective. The episodes tend to lean towards the talky side, lots of dialogue can be found strewn throughout the running time, that is the first thing that would be nixed today, way too many words, and considerably less action than we are used to today. Another factor towards it not surviving today is the anthology aspect. It seems that current television is leaning towards the long story arcs, serialized stories that last anywhere from a few episodes, to seasons, to multiple seasons. Yes, I know that there was a second run that lasted seven seasons, ending in 2002, but it never reached the heights of the original, and never made it to any of the major networks (actually, I am not sure what network it was on, Showtime?).

Each episode began the same way, narration from the Control Voice:

"There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can change the focus to a soft blur, or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to… The Outer Limits."

What followed were episodes that presented us with creatures from outer space ("The Galaxy Being"), beings from beneath the sea ("Tourist Attraction"), experiments gone awry ("The Sixth Finger"), time travel ("The Man Who Was Never Born"), and others. Each episode offers up a different take, not quite as twisty and ironic as the the Twilight Zone series, taking a more straight up approach as the characters deal with the variety of strange situations that they are faced with.

This set contains the first sixteen episodes of the first season spread across two double-sided disks, four episodes on each side. Each episode is presented in its original 1.33:1 full-frame aspect ratio and in glorious black and white. The accompanying audio is the original mono track. Overall, the 40+ year old episodes look quite good, there is nice separation in the colors, offering a nice detail level. This is in addition to the nice cinematography, direction, and music employed in the initial creation of the series. There are no extras included, no featurettes, no interviews, no commentaries, nothing. This is a big missed opportunity, as I am sure there are plenty of folks involved in the show available to talk to, not to mention historians and television scholars that would be willing to discuss the impact and importance of the series.

Bottomline. This is a wonderful series, and anyone likes science fiction, speculative fiction, or the like should definitely give this series a spin, if you haven't already. The 16 episodes here are all worth your time. The series has a wonderful look and feel from the music, cinematography, and storytelling. I may prefer the Twilight Zone series, but there is no denying the place that this series holds.

Recommended.

Christopher Beaumont spends much of his time writing about entertainment when he isn’t sitting in a movie theater. He is known around the office as the “Movie Guy” and is always ready to talk about his favorite form of entertainment and offer up recommendations. Interests include science fiction, horror, and metal music. His writings can be found at Draven99’s Musings, as well as Film School Rejects.

I sat down to watch Broken English not expecting too much. The storyline has been done before: the 30-something single woman living in New York struggling with men. But Parker Posey, who will always stick in my head as Mary from Party Girl (1995) brings vulnerability, humor, and realism to a role that has been done before but never this good.

Parker Posey plays Nora Wilder in what is being called "a startling mature and nuanced performance." The opening scene of the movie shows Nora applying lipstick, picking the perfect dress, and fighting an internal battle over her anxiety medication. We see a close-up of her pulling on her sandals and the lost lonely look in her brown eyes. I was instantly hooked.

Nora works in an elegant downtown hotel dealing with the VIPs who come through. She is competent and in control when she meets an actor who is staying in the hotel. She unbends enough to accept a date and as a result gets burned. But this experience leads her to meet the very charming and handsome Julien, a Frenchman working on a movie in New York for a short time.

Julien, played by Melvil Poupaud, is sensitive, with a passion for life and the world around him though he is recovering from a failed relationship. They spend a few blissful days together and while Julien might not understand Nora completely there is an easy companionship between the two, a chemistry that is magnetic. When he returns to France Nora is devastated; the scene where they say good-bye is heart-wrenching, the emotion jumps off the screen at you.

Nora decides she must got to France to find Julien. With her best friend Audrey (Drea De Matteo) in tow, she searches Paris up and down for any sign of him. But as the days pass Nora starts to look at her life differently; she begins to see herself as someone else, someone unafraid of being alone.

And just as Nora has resigned herself to not finding Julian, on her way to the airport to return to New York, she finds him. This last scene is beautiful. I was glued to the screen as the final moments played out and when the credits rolled I let out a sigh. Simply beautiful.

Broken English, written and directed by Zoe Cassavetes, is funny but it is not the slapstick humor of some romantic comedies. The humor here is real, genuine, everyday funny; a Frenchman mispronouncing a word or Nora and her friend Audrey’s conversations. But while there are bright jewels there are dark here as well. Nora’s struggle with her anxiety is sad to watch, hard to understand if you have never experienced a panic attack, and heart-wrenching if you have.

I can not recommend Broken English highly enough. It was as close to perfect as any movie I have watched in the last few years.

Mike Mignola doesn’t invent your typical run-of-the-mill hero. Nor does he set their adventures in the everyday world or even a world most readers accept as everyday. Instead, he gifts his fans with side treks through strange and unknown places.

Most everyone knows about Hellboy, his premiere creation. The comic has done well and continues, and has even spun off sequels. The movie franchise is gearing up for a second movie.

The Amazing Screw-On Head is a prequel of sorts to Hellboy. Taking place in the 1860s, the story provides something of a history for the action in the pages of the Hellboy comics and movies.

The artwork of the 22-minute feature shows Mignola style. Heavily inked, edgy characters, and with some of the color drained away to make the artwork look more severe and stark, The Amazing Screw-On Head looks as though it exploded right out of the pages of a comic.

The dialogue is a hoot. Fabulously twisted, anchored in today’s world with tongue firmly in cheek, the characters speak and act in a mix of 19th and 21st century actions. The strange machinations take root and spread across the screen, offering a visual treat at every turn. A case in point is when President Lincoln refers to a man who was kidnapped by “two old women and a monkey.” Of course, one of those old women also turned out to be a werewolf.

Since there is only the 22-minute episode and special features that almost double the viewing time on the disc, The Amazing Screw-On Head may seem expensive to some. But Mignola fans and people who have heard about the show are going to step up and pay it anyway.

I had a blast with the episode. So did my nine-year-old, who loved the jokes and repartee. Buy this one out of love, not economics. I promise, you’ll watch it more than once. And when you do, you’ve already doubled your return on your initial investment!

By Iloz Zoc

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste…
If you meet me, have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste… — The Rolling Stones

How does one give sympathy to the devil? That's the challenge Thomas Harris faced when writing his background story on the birth of one of the most riveting fictional human monsters, Hannibal Lecter.

Of course, the first question to ask is why do it? Giving tea and sympathy to a consummately evil character that sends shivers down your spine with just that look and just that smile is quite an accomplishment. Why ruin it? When the Borg where humanized in Star Trek: The Next Generation, the franchise lost a perfectly frightening bunch of monsters with no redeeming social values, and future stories lacked the visceral fear of being assimilated without remorse, of losing all that you hold dear in the wink of an eye and there was nothing you could do about it. Bad call there.Thomas Harris made a bad call here, too. Not only does he try to explain why Hannibal is a cannibal, but he chooses to do it prosaically. His characters speak with flowery-mouth intensity appropriate for literature, not screen dialog. And for a laconic character that's short on words but long on cuisine, that's not a good thing; a known unknown evil is more worrisome and scary than a known known evil, definitely.

Director Peter Webber also makes a bad call by ponderously posing every scene with self-conscious importance. This slows the pacing throughout the movie, and scenes of visceral intensity, where Hannibal begins to succumb to his guilt and insanity, are held back because of it. And don't get me started on those James A. Michener-styled background tableaux. With near-risible martial arts aunt, offerings to ancestral samurai, and a poorly thought through revelatory exposition that is capped by Hannibal crying "You ate my sister!" I imagine lots of popcorn bounced off theater screens everywhere as audiences chuckled and shifted uneasily in their seats — for all the wrong reasons.

Adding to this undercooked cinematic souffle, Gaspard Ulliel postures a lot, as if doing a Vogue layout for Hannibal Lecter fashions. His ominous leering and malicious grinning doesn't evoke any of the uncanny calmness of Anthony Hopkins later, more menacing portrayal. It appears the look of the film was far more important than the substance.

Great care is taken to preserve that look, and visually, the film is beautiful when it should be ugly. Hannibal's growing insanity, growing thirst for revenge looks so beautiful, but it has no life of its own, no building tension buzzes around him.

It's Word War II, and young Hannibal, and his younger sister, are fleeing the Nazis. Their parents thought they had a safe haven in the woods, but that turns out to be a magnet for the war's atrocities. Before they're settled in, tragedy strikes and both his parents are killed. He and his sister must now face the long, cold winter alone in a hostile environment.

More of the war's chaos walks into their home in the form of mercenaries looking for food and a warm place to stay. Food. Where to find it? Starvation sets in, and more and more those hungry eyes stray toward the children. Eventually the hunger is too much, and it's now a quick cheek pinch here, an arm tug there to find which, boy or girl, has more meat on their bones. Hannibal's sister loses. He's helpless as she's brought outside to be slaughtered.It's now eight years later. Hannibal has lost everything, including his dignity, as his home is converted into an orphanage for bully-boys that grow tired of his nightly screams while he dreams. Soon he's off to Paris, to look up his aunt (Gong Li). She's Lady Murasaki Shikibu, who prays to her ancestor's samurai-suited shrine, and teaches Hannibal the fine art of hitting each other with a stick while wearing copious padding. Hannibal, of course, takes a fancy to her long and sharp katana, and enjoys rubbing it with clove oil to keep it sparkling.

An encounter with a fat butcher at the local market sets him off down the non-vegetarian road of self-destruction. He takes time away from his medical school training to return to his crumbling home to retrieve the dog tags of the vile men that ruined his life and ate his little sister. He begins tracking them down one by one, dispensing his unique brand of justice; and cooking up a tasty treat of cheeks and mushrooms — Emeril Lagasse take note!As the body count piles up, along with Hannibal's growing culinary prowess, Inspector Popil is hot on his trail. With insightful observations like "It's vanilla. He reacts to nothing. It's monstrous," when viewing Hannibal's polygraph test, and "What is he now? There’s not a word for it yet. For lack of a better word, we’ll call him a monster," I had no doubt the inspector would not get his man.

Hannibal eventually tracks down the men who ate his little sister, Mischa. Either beheading them, or drowning them, or munching on them, there's little revulsion generated by the whole mess. There is no tension, no suspense, and amazingly, no hint of that complex web of genius and madness shown in the adult Hannibal.In the climactic confrontation between the man who led the others in their hunger-driven madness to consume Hannibal's little sister, and the revenge-consumed Hannibal himself, the resolution is oddly passionless. Even when we find out why Hannibal is guilt-ridden also, the revelation is drowned in the good-looking but empathy-lacking scene. His cry of "you ate my sister," didn't help that scene much either.

Even the extra featurettes on the DVD are glossy-nice to look at, but lack real bite. For the hardcore horror fan, they offer no insight and no interesting background information. They're brochure-quality promotion pieces, not in-depth discussions of the film.Hannibal Rising is like one of those plastic fake food displays that look so mouth-watering good. Just don't shove one of them in your mouth expecting a great taste and texture experience, and don't watch Hannibal Rising expecting a shuddering, emotive experience either. Plastic is just plastic.

Primeval is one of my favorite kinds of films, the kind that sneaks in educational material under the guise of action/horror, which is one way to get the masses to understand something that’s not occurring right outside their door. For those who missed, say, Hotel Rwanda, Primeval tells just enough about the atrocities in Africa to inform those who might not otherwise be informed.

The plot centers around a 25-foot, man-eating crocodile that is ravaging the African jungle. And while at first glance the plot might sound a bit, um, silly, it’s not. It’s based on true happenings, and the crocodile in question is even dubbed “Gustave” by the locals.

Directed by Michael Katleman (who has a lot of television directing credits under his belt), the film stars Dominic Purcell (one half of TV’s infamous Prison Break brothers), the always-hysterical Orlando Jones (previous credits include The Replacements, Runaway Jury and Office Space), Brooke Langton (of TV’s Melrose Place and the film The Replacements), and Jurgen Prochnow (film credits include The Da Vinci Code and The Celestine Prophecy).

Rated R and presented in 2.35:1 widescreen with Dolby Digital 5.1 surround sound, the film runs approximately 94 minutes and also includes English, French and Spanish subtitles and audio in both English and Spanish. Bonus features include “Crocumentary: Brining Gustave to Life,” three deleted scenes and audio commentary with the director and various cast and crew.

There’s lots of political and social commentary peppered throughout the film, as well as unlikely heroes, great action sequences, and fabulous special effects. The fact that the film is also shot where the true events happened only adds to the overall look and feel of the film, as well as its authenticity.

Primeval hits all the right marks, combining history, special effects, great acting, a bit of horror and humor to create an entertaining 94 minutes — and that’s more than a lot of films can boast these days.

Do you want to see a truly scary movie this summer? Sure, you can watch one of those movies like Hostel 2 or a zombie movie.

But if you want to see something truly disturbing – a movie which makes the viewer alternate between horror, fear, and concern over children's welfare – then watch the documentary Jesus Camp. If you are like me you will still be thinking about this documentary weeks after you view it, contemplating both the movie and your reaction toward it.

The movie is an evenhanded look at the Kids on Fire Summer Camp in Devils Lake, North Dakota and the growing evangelical movement. The movie is directed by Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady, who previously made The Boys of Baraka.

Becky Fischer, the Pentecostal children’s pastor at the camp, gave the directors wide access to the camp because she liked their prior movie. She has probably been re-thinking that decision ever since, as the movie makes her look like quite the passionate propagandist with little concern for letting kids learn to think for themselves.

At the camp, which she started in 2001, children are forced, through manipulative, intense preaching by Fischer and others, to feel awful if they do not think and act properly. And what, pray tell (no pun intended), is the right way to act and think, judging by the film? Four examples spring to mind:

• No ghost stories at camp because they “do not honor God.”
• Evolution is wrong and creationism is the only logical explanation for Earth. Or as one home-schooled child's mother states "science hasn't proved anything" on this issue.
• The Harry Potter books are evil. Fischer tells the camp: "Let me say something about Harry Potter. Warlocks are the enemies of God! And I don't care what kind of hero they are, they're an enemy of God and had it been in the old testament Harry Potter would have been put to death!" After the church shouts "amen!" she adds, "You don't make heroes out of warlocks!
• Speaking in tongues is normal.

There is a telling comment about that last example on the DVD during a commentary track by the two directors. They said that Fischer asked them why they were including a specific scene she though quite boring and ordinary. They explained to her that most viewers are probably not used to seeing people not only blessing facilities and equipment in preparation for the start of camp but also speaking in tongues about the matter.

My favorite part of the scene comes when Fischer says the devil loves to mess up Powerpoint presentations in an attempt to disrupt the spreading of God's words. They of course proceed to pray in an attempt to stop the devil's technological meddling.

But Scott, you may be saying as you read this, what is so wrong with a church passing these messages and lessons on to children? Well, first I want to remind you that they are indeed just children.

I challenge you to not be unsettled by a scene in which they are preached to, until they are in a frenzy, on the "evils" of abortion, complete with tiny models of embryos. Are they not a little young to become soldiers in what they call an "army of God" on the issue of abortion?

Fischer is fascinating and yet shocking to watch. She is quite correct when she says, watching video footage of one service, that the resulting movie would leave liberals liberals "shaking in their boots."

There is an unsettling military theme throughout the movie, from a church service in which children are in war paint to the many references to the Army of God. She says at one point about Muslims,

It's no wonder, with that kind of intense training and discipling, that those young people are ready to kill themselves for the cause of Islam. I wanna see young people who are as committed to the cause of Jesus Christ as the young people are to the cause of Islam. I wanna see them as radically laying down their lives for the Gospel as they are over in Pakistan and Israel and Palestine and all those different places, you know, because we have… excuse me, but we have the truth!

Fischer has not disavowed the film or its portrayal of her. However, after the movie came out Fischer discontinued indefinitely the camp, citing phone calls and concerns about vandalism.

The only person involved in the movie who has complained about its content is Ted Haggard, a popular, influential church pastor who, two months after the movie's release, was disgraced through a messy scandal involving sex and drugs. Judging by the deleted scenes which make him come off looking even more high, trippy, and creepy than he does in the movie itself, I think Haggard got off easy.

In a surreal scene included in the movie Haggard stops practicing a sermon to make weird jokes. Pointing into the camera he says, "I think I know what you did last night." As the audience laughs he says, "If you send me a thousand dollars, I won't tell your wife." The audience laughs again and then Haggard says, "If you use any of this, I'll sue you." Um, oops? But I digress.

In one of the best scenes Fischer is challenged by a Christian radio talk show host about whether it is right for the church to be "indoctrinating" these children. She replies that "every other religion is indoctrinating their kids. I would like to see more churches indoctrinating." Fischer later says,

I can go into a playground of kids that don't know anything about Christianity, lead them to the Lord in a matter of, just no time at all, and just moments later they can be seeing visions and hearing the voice of God, because they're so open. They are so usable in Christianity.

My hope is that after reading those words, and seeding these movies, it is not just liberals who are "shaking in their boots," at least a little nervous about what Fischer and others like her are telling children.

The Painted Veil is one of those movies I was interested in, but never made the time to go see. Even with the DVD in hand, I approached the viewing as if it were a chore. Now that I have watched it, I am happy to report that it is a beautifully crafted film that combines a realistic depiction of a relationship with a view of China circa the 1920s, creating a film that is gorgeous to look at and fascinating to watch.

The film is based on the novel of the same name by W. Somerset Maugham. It is the third filming of the story, previously getting the big screen treatment in 1934 and then again in 1957 (as The Seventh Sin). I have not seen either of those, nor have I read the book, so any comparisons to the source/prior interpretations is a no-go. No matter, the film is strong enough to stand on its own as a highly dramatic film with a well-developed screenplay, fine acting, and gorgeous cinematography.

The story centers on the relationship between Kitty (Naomi Watts) and her husband, Dr. Walter Fane (Edward Norton). The film begins with their meeting in London, where the proper Doctor courts the more liberated Kitty, and they soon marry. Shortly after the wedding, the new couple relocate to Shanghai, where Dr. Fane, a bacteriologist, was to work on his studies. It is here where the film slows its pace. Up to this point the film seemed to cover a lot of ground in very little time, moving quickly from their initial meeting, to marriage, to the trip to Shanghai. I was not sure I was going to like it. Sure, it was well acted and gorgeous to look at, but the narrative seemed somewhat lacking. That was all about to change as their life in Shanghai settles in.

Walter is married to his work, and Kitty, looking for a stronger emotional bond, finds it in an affair with Charlie Townsend (Liev Schreiber), another official stationed in Shanghai. It is not long before Walter discovers his wife's dalliance, and their relationship takes a turn. The exposure of the affair leads to an ultimatum which takes our unhappily married couple to a small village in the throes of a massive cholera epidemic. It takes the relationship to the next level, an uncomfortable purgatory for both of them.

To say more of their lives would be to tell too much. The film is a journey of a couple that never should have been a couple in the first place learning something about each and reaching some sort of middle ground, some level of co-existence. It mines the idea of a doomed relationship surviving and becoming more than it should have been. It truly is a beautiful sight to watch as these characters develop against the backdrop of a China in crisis.

The performances are first rate, in particular Naomi Watts' portrayal of Kitty. Kitty is complex and full of emotion, a woman who believes in her liberty and her right to personal happiness. We watch her grow and mature as a human being and look below the surface of her husband to find something different, and it is beautiful. Edward Norton is good, though the performance seems to be a bit too distant, and even bland. At moments that distracted from what I thought of the character. It was still interesting to watch his arrogance almost prove his undoing as he tries to do what he thinks is best, despite what the locals think, as well as his attempt to punish his wife as the two scarcely acknowledge each other. Even when it doesn't completely work, it still manages to strike all the right chords.

The screenplay, by Ron Nyswaner, is well developed and has a strong arc for the lead characters. The screenplay allows them to develop as individuals as they learn about themselves, each other, and this distant land they find themselves in. It is fictional romantic drama set in a world based on historical fact, where the history does not overshadow the drama. Very strong work that really draws you in and holds your attention, following those fast-moving first twenty minutes.

John Curran directs, and he brings an eye for the artistic to the screen, his framing and slow camera moves highlighting the beautiful Chinese landscape. He lets the actors' performances carry the film, and this is not a flashy movie. I would be remiss if I did not mention the director of photography, Stuart Dryburgh, who brings life to the brown and green tones of the film. Then there is the beautiful score from Alexandre Desplat, a soft and beautiful string-based score that really plays nicely with the film.

Audio/Video. The image is presented in anamorphic widescreen in its original aspect ratio of 2.35:1, and it looks very good. The film has a very monocrhomatic feel to it, with little in the way of bright colors, but the tones we do get are beautifully rendered here, with no noticable artifacting or halos that I saw. Audio is presented in Dolby Digital 5.1, and sounds fine. Nothing terribly exciting, but the soundstage is nice.

Extras. None. That's right, nothing. I think a commentary would have been great.

Bottomline. Despite the decidedly lackluster release in terms of extra material, this is a beautiful film that I should not have avoided for so long. It is a journey of discovery, of both self and partner, and it plays out in such a way that you cannot help but feel for them and become involved in their plight and that of the people around them. In short, see this movie — you will not be disappointed.

Highly Recommended.

Christopher Beaumont spends much of his time writing about entertainment when he isn’t sitting in a movie theater. He is known around the office as the “Movie Guy” and is always ready to talk about his favorite form of entertainment and offer up recommendations. Interests include science fiction, horror, and metal music. His writings can be found at Draven99’s Musings, as well as Film School Rejects.

This is a character driven romantic comedy about a high-powered Manhattan single mother who opens Pandora's box when she seeks out the anonymous sperm donor father of her young son. Tackling issues of motherhood, proposal of marriage, and the challenges and choices of parenting, this is a story that hits at the heart of how, why and whom we love.

In this well developed comedy Julie (Vanessa Williams), a mid-40s successful New York City reporter/columnist has a great job, a rent controlled apartment, a successful photojournalist boyfriend named Ted (Michael Boatman) and a six year old son Jake (Jeremy Gumbs), whom she conceived via anonymous sperm donor.

One day Julie gets called in for an emergency parent-teacher conference and learns that her son has been acting up in class. She is told he'll have to be tested for his hypertension and is on the verge of being expelled. Julie blames herself and it's easy to do because her mother Mona (Eartha Kitt) has made her feel inadequate for not being a stay-at-home mom and not being married. The on-screen relationship between the classy Ms. Williams and the legendary Ms. Kitt is something to marvel about. The dialogue of these two characters is smart and snappy. However, Julie won't concede that Mona is right, so she decides the blame must be genetic on the anonymous father. Through a investigator, Julie learns the identity of the donor and meets him without telling him the reason. The 30 something year old man is Paul Cooper (Kevin Daniels), a struggling actor and law school dropout. He's quite intelligent but hasn't found his niche.

As Julie gets psychiatric help for Jake it appears that he can benefit from a father figure in his life. So Julie's charismatic boyfriend pops the question of marriage and Mona is happy her daughter is finally getting her life in order. Meanwhile Paul has appeared at Julie's door hoping to help him promote an off-off broadway show. Now Paul and Jake bond. No matter how hard Julie keeps Jake and Paul apart it doesn't work. But in the meantime her feelings drift towards him and him to her.

The strength of this heart-felt comedy is carried on the backs of it's complex characters, because Venessa Williams shines and Eartha Kitt glows. Ben Vereen is given a small part as he portrays Paul's father Chuck Cooper, a starchy retired attorney living in a well to do New Jersey home with a loss of interest in his wandering son. Supporting members of Manny and Patricia Sanchez, Tommy Nelson and Stephan Spinella keep this movie afloat. Don't expect to watch a block busting movie, because it's not. I found this film to be predictable but genuinely fun to watch.

Directed by: Richard Schenkman
Running time: 99 minutes
Release date: June 15, 2007
Genre: Comedy/Drama and Romance
Distributor: Fox Meadow Films
MPAA Rating: This Film Is Not Rated

Written by Caballero Oscuro

DOA: Dead or Alive might as well be called Dead on Arrival for its overall chances of box-office success this weekend, but here’s the surprise: it’s a fun guilty pleasure! Sure, your head might hurt if you try to make any sense out of the paper-thin plot, but if you’re going to this film for the story, you’re in the wrong place anyway. It fully delivers on what it promises: babes in bikinis and hot martial arts action. What’s more, it’s easily the most entertaining film inspired by a video game to date (sorry, Uwe Boll).

The film is based on a long-running fighting game series legendary for its stunning graphics and supernaturally bouncy heroines. The game characters have also been transitioned to a beach volleyball side series that factors into the film as well. While the games have basic storylines, the real attractions are the fast-paced matches and stunning characters and backgrounds, traits they share with this film.

So how do you make a film out of a fighting game? First, hire a competent action director, which they’ve covered quite nicely here with veteran Hong Kong action auteur Corey Yuen (The Transporter, So Close). Next, sign some attractive young lasses with moderate name recognition, again well-done with a genetically superior cast headed by Jaime Pressly and Devon Aoki. Finally, add in skimpy outfits and outlandish fighting moves and simmer to perfection.

The story finds the ladies (and a few men) traveling to an exotic resort island to challenge each other in a tournament to determine the best fighter. Fights can be staged at any time, so the contestants wear electronic bracelets to alert them to their next match. Minor subplots are thrown in, such as the relationships between Tina (Pressly) and her father as well as Kasumi (Aoki) and her brother, but the main attraction is the tournament. Of course there’s an evil villain behind the whole tournament, and there’s no denying the film has completely earned classic B-movie status when the baddie turns out to be Eric Roberts. There are no major surprises in the main plot, it’s strictly a fight to the finish where the best contestants face off in the final boss battle to save the world.

Yuen keeps the action moving at all times, never letting the pace slow down. He expertly stages and films all of the fights, particularly a gorgeous match in the rain on the beach. The film contains plenty of amazing action feats that will leave viewers alternately awestruck and grimacing in sympathetic pain, although the overall effect is kept mostly light-hearted due to the exhibition nature of the tournament. The tropical beach setting makes for some spectacular backdrops for the fights, and also allows for a 2-on-2 bikini volleyball match that rivals Top Gun for sexiest volleyball game ever.

There are no stellar acting performances to single out, although Pressly gets the most mileage out of her twangy Southern character. On the action front, all of the primary characters seem to hold their own admirably in performing their fair share of the stunts. They’re cute, they’re perky, and they kick ass, putting this film in the same class as D.E.B.S., Aoki’s previous B-movie acronym gem. Dead or Alive is a long way from Shakespeare, but it’s a breezy, action-packed diversion sure to entertain viewers willing to check their brains at the door.