For the past three summers, Fox has whipped up a deliciously spicy little reality treat, Hell’s Kitchen, starring the inimitable Gordon Ramsay as a complete and utter SOB.

The premise is simple: take 16 chefs (or wanna-be chefs) that want a big time restaurant of their own, make them work together in a restaurant while yelling at them every second of the day and night, and kick one off the show every episode, last person standing gets the restaurant.

It’s Survivor but with Simon Cowell replacing Jeff Probst and getting to be judge, jury, and executioner. Hell’s Kitchen does not play at letting the audience decide who will be eliminated, that choice rests with Gordon Ramsay alone.

On June 4, the third season of Hell’s Kitchen started up, and Ramsay was back to his old ways, ridiculing all 16 chefs, finding the weak members of the pack and picking them off. The teams were separated into the now traditional men versus women, and informed that the restaurant would open the next night.

True to form, once the restaurant opened, Ramsay was disgusted by the way the chefs were performing and shut down the kitchen and restaurant before even finishing serving the appetizers for all the tables. This ought not to have come as a surprise to the diners, as this happens every season, but more than a few seemed shocked by the poor quality of service. Ramsay declared the losing team to be the women, due to their inability to talk to one another, a huge pet peeve of the Chef’s, and to fry an egg. Ramsay, for some reason we are not privy to declares Melissa to be “the best of the worst” and asks her to nominate two people to be booted off the show.

Melissa meets individually with members of her team; everyone she speaks to wants Julia nominated because she’s a short order cook at a Waffle House (how do these people not like Waffle House?). Instead, Tiffany and Joanna are nominated, the first for not being able to fry an egg and the second for her lack of communication.

Nominating Tiffany is just wonderfully fun, because Melissa had specifically promised Tiffany during their conversation that she was safe, that there was no way she would be going home that night. Then, of course, Melissa nominated her. Needless to say, Chef Ramsay booted Tiffany. What a great opening backstab to the season. And, the true genius of it is that no one heard Melissa tell Tiffany she was safe, and so no one knows just how two-faced Melissa is.

Some would argue that Ramsay is overly cruel and relishes his role a little too much. I completely disagree. As the season progresses, Ramsay will start to show a softer side and will start to talk to and open up to the contestants. Don’t think that he’s just playing at being tough up front though, he may open up to people later, but he’ll still flay them if they disappoint in the kitchen.If there was a weakness to last night’s episode, it’s that it traded a little too much on knowledge of previous seasons. The rules, regulations, and procedures were not fully explained. There really isn’t a lot to understand, but to help bring in new audience members, it might have behooved the show to do a little bit more of an introduction.

Nothing burps better than Billy Zane. It's the honest truth, dear readers. As soon as you and your Aunt Linda have finished consuming any of the dozens of various cinematic wafers on the bald one's unique resume, your sun-starved bodies will automatically become inflated with the gaseous compound known within scientific circles as BZ-14. The sudden explosion of this fragrant wind from your sickly piehole is a most enjoyable experience to behold. In fact, I strongly encourage anyone who has an abundance of BZ-14 currently turning chemical tricks in their seedy bellies to share that odorous air with whomever happens to be sitting to their immediate left and/or right.

I'll wait right here until you get back.

If you're eager to experience this oh-so satisfying gastronomical eruption for yourself, I'm very happy to report that director John Kalangis' deadpan zombie comedy The Mad is literally crawling with that delicious BZ-14 compound, thereby providing all of the required elements for a truly gut-busting, zombie-slaying good time. Of course, those desperately seeking a typical run-of-the-mill undead shocker may find themselves whining incessantly about the kooky antics gyrating wildly across their stepdad's second-hand television. In other words, you may want to pack your twisted sense of humor in the boot before embarking on this hilariously demented 90-minute family vacation.

Shiny bespectacled Billy Zane stars as Jason Hunt, a former New Wave musician turned family physician who finds himself metaphorically shackled within the dank, dark dungeon of what is commonly referred to as the dysfunctional family holiday. When a small detour from their predetermined plans lands them smack dab in the middle of nowhere, our bitterly bickering brood is forced to seek shelter within a dingy bed and breakfast reminiscent of the lodgings found skulking around your darkest nightmares. If you've ever taken a road trip through the eastern Kentucky mountains, I'm sure you're painfully familiar with this sort of off-beat derelict rat hole. My condolences.

To add yet another layer of deep-fried family fun to their wonky summer adventure, Jason and his daughter Amy — accompanied by their respective lovers — pay a visit to a local grease-pit that specializes in chemically-altered, zombie-spawning hamburgers. Unfortunately for our hungry, hungry heroes, the kitchen just ran out of that mouth-watering ground chuck they so feverishly crave. This inexcusable inconvenience, however, has its advantages: Instead of mutating into a legion of mindless skin-peeling zombies with a penchant for random shoplifting, this forlorn foursome is forced to fight their way out of the ensuing madness with the help of a wise-cracking cook and his leggy stepdaughter Steve. Will everyone who's not chewing on a human brain live to snack another day, or will they ultimately find themselves on a soiled menu in truck stop restaurant menu for the eternally damned?

Not everyone on this dying planet is going to enjoy The Mad as much as I did, and I'm fully prepared to live with this horrifying fact as long as nobody feels the need to thrust their crusty opinion into my slightly-confused, baby smooth face. Most of the humor found floating helplessly in this genre-bending bog is of a dialogue-driven nature, leaving those thirsting for a thought-provoking, Romero-inspired splatterfest with nothing to do but twiddle their malfunctioning opposable thumbs. It also takes a while to get into step with Kalangis' dry sense of humor; if you're not willing to stick around until you find its off-beat rhythm, perhaps this isn't the ghoul you're looking for.

And while the film does sport a few uneasy moments of juicy gore, The Mad isn't exactly what you'd call gratuitous in its display of on-screen grue. Please do not be fooled by the large UNRATED graphic plastered prominently on the DVD artwork; the picture's level of squishy content isn't exactly what you'd call overwhelming. To be fair, Kalangis doesn't seem very concerned with turning your stomach into a geyser of putrid proportions or savagely grossing out your significant other to the point of projectile vomiting. The violence is played more for laughs than anything else, a discomforting statement for those anticipating unabashed zombie mayhem. Sorry about that, folks.

It goes without saying that Billy Zane is easily The Mad's greatest asset, delivering an unusually heartfelt performance as a man coming face-to-face with every middle-aged male's worst nightmare: the terrifying, heart-stopping mid-life crisis. When presented with a never-ending army of undead hillbillies with an insatiable hunger for human flesh, Zane's character seems more concerned with rediscovering his techno-oriented musical abilities than overcoming the rotting obstacles wandering around outside. Since the film relies so heavily on the quirky demeanor of its main character, it's good that Kalangis found someone with Zane's skill to spearhead this silly production.

With new horror/comedies crashing the direct-to-video party every other week or so, it makes me all warm and tingly inside whenever I'm faced with an amalgamation that actually gets it right. The Mad is the proverbial diamond in the rough, a straight-to-video sleeper that gives us several nifty reasons to take a chance on all those low-budget genre films currently collecting dust on video store shelves the world over. This picture isn't going to change the way the earth rotates around the moon, mind you, but it should provide the appropriate audience with enough bowel-loosening BZ-14 to invoke a serious belch or two.

And once you've burped Billy, there's no going back.

The Sundance Channel continues its "The Green" series with Create on Jun 5 at 9pm. This week the program explores the world of creativity in an environmentally friendly format. Yes, even for artists and craftspeople, there are eco-friendly ways to approach problems. I am becoming a big fan of the Big Ideas series, they find some truly unique solutions to problems. This week's program follows the standard format of three 10-minute segments.

In segment one we meet Subhankar Banerjee, a world renowned photographer of the Arctic. In a segment that is both light and uplifting, he shows us some of the unique solutions that the Arctic people have found to some of their problems.

On a much darker note Subhankar also explores the effects of pollution and global warming on this fragile ecosystem, and even more fragile culture. The ice is no longer where it was, the lakes that sustain the animals have become marshland, and the entire culture has reached a state of imbalance that not only affects the native population, but also the animal and sea life that they are so dependent upon. The eternal thirst for oil is also a cause for concern. Our drive for "black gold" is also producing potentially horrendous problems at the roof of the world.

The second segment is much more upbeat; we meet the delightful and slightly eccentric artist Alyce Santoro. Ms Santoro has found a great way to recycle all of those cassette tapes from that bygone era that are piled up in all of our basements. She created a method of weaving the tapes into material for clothing or decoration. In a unique TV experience she produces a cassette recorder that has undergone some slight modification, so that you can "hear" the fabric! I loved that, I want one!

The final segment introduced me to a new word, "upcycling". This is taking something that has outlived its useful life and finding a new and more important use for it. Architect David Hertz explains that a Boeing 747 when new costs tens of millions of dollars, but when it has outlived its airworthiness it is just a pile of scrap.

But just because it can no longer fly does not mean that it is useless. It was designed to exacting specifications, it was built using very high quality materials designed to withstand any environment, and, it is esthetically pleasing to the eye. David takes us on the ultimate 747 adventure — he turns one into a house! Now that is what I call upcycling!

Sundance is not available on all cable systems, but don’t worry, they have a great website that contains the segments. I do hope that one of the mainstream media outlets picks this gem up — great ideas, great people, and a riveting 30 minutes. Big Ideas For A Small Planet is well worth checking out.

It is not an easy task to breathe new life into a tale as old as that of Robin Hood. Having made his first appearance in the late thirteenth century, the last seven hundred plus years have given us a pretty good idea of what to expect when we hear the name. In fact, I would be willing to bet that the moment you read the name “Robin Hood” you automatically conjured up a vision of a man with a pointy beard, a green uniform, a silly looking hat, and a ubiquitous bow and arrow. Perhaps you saw Errol Flynn or a cartoon fox in your mind. Even worse, you might have envisioned Kevin Costner with a terrible accent. However, the BBC has done its very best to enliven the rather staid ideal of Robin Hood with this series, recently seen on this side of the Atlantic on BBC America and releasing on DVD June 5.

If one were to judge a book (or in this case, a DVD set) by its cover, you could easily infer that this version of Robin Hood is the sort of overly important looking historical drama found on PBS. However, this show is pure fun and a bit campy at times. There is no silly looking hat on this Robin and there are certainly no green tights to be found. Instead, Jonas Armstrong’s Robin appears to be a medieval emo trendsetter who sports artfully shaggy hair and a hoodie. Fans of British television shows will recognize a majority of the cast including comedian Keith Allen (father of musical sensation Lily Allen) vamping it up and chewing the scenery as the Sheriff of Nottingham and Richard Armitage as a wonderfully slimy and loathsome Guy of Gisborne.

The Robin Hood – Season One box set consists of four discs which include all thirteen forty-five minute long episodes from the first season. Additionally, the set includes a fifth disc of bonus features. These features include: audio commentary from cast members on several episodes, a mini-documentary taking you behind the scenes of the series, and a pair of short features about the design of the set and the design of the costumes.

Fans of the story of Robin Hood are certain to like this DVD set. Having watched the series during its initial U.S. run on BBC America, I found the episodes to move along at a quick pace and thought that they were a pure joy to watch. It’s cheeky fun and an action-packed update on the classic tale that will likely hook you in and have you anxious for the second series, which is currently in production.

“One of you is going to run a restaurant and yet you’re all wimping around… and if you think tonight you have got your butts kicked, you’ve seen nothing yet.”

Gordon Ramsay is not known for his delicate communication skills, which makes for a tense work environment and some pretty good television. That’s right, Hell’s Kitchen is back for its third season.

If the season previews are to be believed, this edgy reality series may be pushing the boundaries for how far the mouthy Brit can go in the coming months. But, as Fox is known to do, I expect that the contestant mutiny and ambulance lights may not be as dramatic as they are hinting.

Still, the season premier was full of backstabbing, cattiness, and tears — from both sides of the kitchen. As usual Ramsay asked the would-be culinary stars to prepare their signature dishes, of which only two didn’t make him want to vomit. This never surprises me since Ramsay is such an epicurean snob and most of the contestants barely have any cooking experience.

Does a short order cook or a nanny/personal chef have a snowball’s chance of running their own fine dining establishment? I think not. This season’s cast seems weaker than most, however. There are fewer people with relevant experience and more with huge attitudes to make up the difference.

Ramsay then divided the contestants into red and blue teams: the women on red, the men on blue. Both teams were abysmal in the kitchen, with the red team exemplifying that cliché image of women baring their claws during competition, while the blue team overcooked all of its food and I don’t think even got an appetizer out to the dining room. Tears flowed on both teams, though it was Aaron, the Asian cowboy, who started things off and nearly seasoned his dish with snot.

But despite the men’s poor performance, it was the ladies who lost, probably due to their inability to work together. I don’t really think that was fair, since they sent a lot of their food out to mixed reviews while the blue team struggled the whole time.

Melissa was deemed the best of the worst and was tasked with nominating two to go home. After promising Tiffany she wasn’t going home, Melissa nominated her in the end and Ramsay sent her packing. This was a ballsy move for the first episode and it put Melissa on my radar as a formidable contender.

On the blue team, Rock is my favorite for winning the season. Last summer I predicted Heather would take the grand prize from the first episode. Rock, who is already an executive chef, seems the strongest player at this point. He knows the kitchen and the etiquette. But even he messed up on his signature dish. I guess we shall see.

In my mind, there is a realm where childhood memories are so vague that, as the years pass, I wonder if they even took place at all. Were they real, or composites of things that coalesced into a story, or were they merely products of my imagination? One such example was Chiliwack's 1981 hit, "My Girl (Gone, Gone, Gone)." I specifically remember this song when it was out, but I never knew its name. So, because the hook was so similar to The Doors' "Touch Me," I simply morphed the two together until I saw the video one day on VH-1 Classic. It confirmed my belief in the song's existence, but also made me wish the song never was.

Another such memory, but from even further back, was a prime-time cartoon called Wait Till Your Father Gets Home, which ran on ABC from 1972-74. Almost 35 years later, all I can remember is that it featured the voice of Tom Bosley and a snippet of the theme song, because my sisters and I used to sing it whenever our mother would give us that particular warning (my girlfriend, on the other hand, remembers the song almost word-for-word).

As it turns out, the show did, in fact, exist, and today, Warner Brothers releases the first season of the Hanna-Barbera show on DVD. The show stars Bosley as Harry Boyle, a 47-year-old Everydad living in the suburbs with his wife, Irma, and their three children, who range from eight to 22 years old. Most of the episodes deal with Harry's attempts to make sense of his children: Chet, a 22-year-old slacker hippie; Alice, a Cosmo-spouting teenager; and Jamie, an 8-year-old who is always looking to profit from a situation. If that's not difficult enough, he also has his über-conservative neighbor, Ralph Kane, to deal with.

So how has the show held up over the years? Not as well as I had hoped, I'm afraid. It's easy to compare Wait Till Your Father Gets Home with the superlative King Of The Hill in its portrayal of a hard-working, middle-class man struggling to deal with changing times. But where King's humor is sly and subversive, Wait employs standard sitcom plots and tired jokes about inflation and "these kids today." It's a Hanna-Barbera show, after all, so even though they're dealing with the issues of the day, like women's liberation, the Generation Gap, and civil rights, it's still done, for the most part, at the level of The Flintstones or The Jetsons. The annoying laugh track, even more pointless when dealing with a cartoon, doesn't help things, either.

But there are several highlights that make it worth watching. Played by veteran comedy writer Jack Burns, Ralph gets the best lines. A typical Nixon Republican, Ralph sees Communism in everything that isn't his definition of "American", and organizes a vigilante posse of the other neighborhood wingnuts to weed out the infiltration with disastrous results. He's part Archie Bunker and part General Ripper from Dr. Strangelove, shifty-eyed and spewing bigoted comments about minorities, and his ludicrous paranoid conspiracy theories provide every episode with a few genuine laughs.

As with his future role as Howard Cunningham on Happy Days (both shows received their start through the groundbreaking Love, American Style), few actors have been able to play the exasperated television dad as well as Bosley, even with the weak dialogue, and he handles it in a manner that fathers everywhere can understand. Like Hank Hill, Harry Boyle is on the conservative side of middle-of-the-road. He is constantly flummoxed by his children's liberal, modern ways, but he doesn't agree with Ralph's jingoism, either.

And there were also several episodes that tackled difficult topics very well, most notably when Chet gets drafted. Done without the laugh track, the show dealt with Chet contemplating desertion in a manner that was very sensitive to the many families that were going through the same situation.

But for all its admirable qualities, Wait Till Your Father Gets Home pales in comparison to the other groundbreaking topical shows of its day, like All In The Family and The Mary Tyler Moore Show because the humor lacks the bite, referring to gloss over the issues rather than attacking them head-on. The four-disc set contains all 24 episodes of the first season, as well as two features, one explaining how the show reflected the turbulent times, and another about the history of the show and the reason for the sparse animation style.