… then James Bond would be an alcoholic and the worst spy ever

by Richy Davies

In the movies, anything is possible.

We’ve seen toys come to life, wars in space and all manner of cinematic craziness. This subverting of reality and entertaining of the fantastic has been happening since the dawn of Cinema. Usually when I’m watching a film with friends somebody will pipe up with ‘that couldn’t really happen!’ So starting this week, we’ll be seeing how some films and characters measure up against the mundane rules of reality.

First up, the crown prince of espionage with a penchant for the ladies, Mr. James Bond.

Dave Corkery

Click below to listen to the second episode of the Cult Corner, a series which I’ve been doing on Spin FM’s We Love Movies.

This time round, it was the Kubrickian (I’m told this is a real world) masterpiece ‘A Clockwork Orange.’ For optimum effect, listen along while enjoying a glass of mescaline-diluted milk, a bit of Ludwig-van and follow with an evening of ultra-violence and a spot of the old in-and-out. If you’re listening while supping on a nice bottle of chianti and some fava beans, then you’ve got the wrong movie.

You can download episodes of ‘We Love Movies’ here or listen live here every Sunday at 19.45 GMT.

If you’ve got an idea for a cult film that you’d like Dave to cover, just let us know below (Unfortunately, Ernest Goes to Camp is not recognised as a cult classic)

Next week: The Evil Dead Trilogy

The latest from Pixar is the tale of a lonesome, cutesy robot, whose sole task is to clean up an abandoned, rubbish-heaped planet Earth. Besides one or two minor slip-ups, Pixar are still the makers of the best family films money can buy. Toy Story, Monsters INC, Finding Nemo and The Incredibles are a hard act to follow, but they managed it with last year’s Ratatouille.

And Wall*E looks like it’s gonna be another gem. Click below to check out the oddly old-fashioned and genuinely heart-warming trailer. A must-see.

Trailer

(courtesy Empire)

Shaun O’Connor

In a pre-Oscar interview, George Clooney intimated that “…there is no way Daniel Day Lewis won’t win. For me, it’s like being Hillary Clinton. If it weren’t for Barack Obama, it would have been a very good year.”

Not only was George correct in his Oscar prediction, he succinctly sums up anything that I could say in this review about Day-Lewis’ performance. Yup, it’s that good. So for the minute, let’s take a look at what else, if anything, is so great about this movie.

Dave Corkery

Click below to listen to the first episode of the Cult Corner, a series which I’ve been doing on Spin FM’s We Love Movies.

You can download episodes of ‘We Love Movies’ here or listen live here every Sunday at 19.45 GMT.

Basically, what you’re in for is a chat about Escape from New York and why Snake Plissken kicks ass.

If you’ve got an idea for a cult film that you’d like Dave to cover, just let us know below (However, Ernest Goes to Camp does not count as a cult classic) 

Next time: A Clockwork Orange (1971)

by Richy Davies
From this list it seems frightfully apparent that most of time it is the actions of one stupid bugger that fucks it up for everybody else. So if you learn anything here, it’s that if you find yourself in a situation involving the undead, kill the bastard who you suspect is going to do something extremely stupid.

Released during the Italian exploitation craze of the 1980’s, Holocaust is the thinner budget production on the list and it shows. In the film a group of New York doctors become entangled in a war between cannibals and zombies on a remote East Indies Island. The fact that such an audacious cash-in as Zombie Holocaust was ever released guarantees its place in the list.

Best Line: The misleading tagline “Tonight the dead shall rise again!”
Best Moment: Dr Chandler introducing a zombie’s face to an outboard motor.

by Puptentacle

The trailer says it all really. A guy gets accidentally magnetised (as you do) and wipes the whole catalogue of a struggling VHS rental shop in Passaic, New Jersey. In order to keep the business ticking over and to conceal their blunder from the shop’s owner, Mike (Mos Def) and Jerry (Jack Black) need to replace the tapes. Of course, with limited funds and replacement tapes extremely scarce, the pair decide to remake the films using homemade props, inserting themselves as the stars. They soon discover a market for their make-and-do or “sweded” remakes (Ghostbusters, Robocop, Rush Hour 2, etc.) which could help save their humble store.

This time last year, when the heavyweights of Summer 2008 were being announced, few would have considered Iron Man much of a contender against the return of Batman and Indiana Jones. At least I didn’t. I never held much stock in this Marvel creation compared to X-Men and Spiderman and the likes.

But….

Starting with the initially bizarre but incredibly smart move of naming Swinger Jon Favreau as director and following one of the best casting moves ever by naming Robert Downey Jr. as the new Tony Stark, it was starting to look like Marvel’s first solo endeavour was full of the kind of risky, ballsy moves that give lazy studio execs nightmares.

Now, after taking a look at the trailer, it’s clear that their risks are paying off and Iron Man has now shot up my list of Summer hopefuls. Favreau is clearly keeping things light and comedic here, but in a cool way, not like the pantomimic comic-book laughs of the Fantastic Four, Daredevil and countless other Marvel misfires. Robert Downey Jr. comes across as slick and hilarious as ever and if you ask me, that man can do no wrong. Truly one of the greatest and coolest actors around, this role should do for his career what Jack Sparrow did for Mr. Depp.

So, it’s time to officially get excited about Iron Man. The dark horse of Summer 2008. Click below for the latest trailer in standard or HD, courtesy of IGN.

 Trailer

Dave Corkery

Where have all the good action heroes gone?

Besides Jason Bourne, our current movie decade’s hero output pales in comparison to 80s cinema. The Reagan era of gung-ho all American heroes is ancient history, replaced by renegade good guys that run from their own government instead of fighting for it. Is it any wonder then that Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone have optimistically re-donned their filthy vests and tank tops to once again dodge explosions and be too old for this shit? No, it’s not.

So, what reason has Rambo to kill people with his shirt off this time? Some God-faring blonde chick, that’s who. When we first revisit our hero, he’s living the simple life that we all dream of; as a cobra-farmer in Thailand (we’ve all had that dream, right?)

Richie Davies

The problem facing anybody who enters the Alien and Predator franchise is the expectation of the films’ cult-like following. The Aliens anthology boasts a wealth of significant input, from Ridley Scott, James Cameron and young wipper-snapper David Fincher, and in that sense has a lot to lose (granted, Alien Resurrection and AVP tainted the body of work). The Predator franchise, despite its immense following (myself included), must be perceived as an example of schlock Horror that it clearly is (entertaining nonetheless).