Archive for the ‘CinemATTIC’ Category

List Of Disney Movies

Friday, July 16th, 2010
List Of Disney Movies   5 Disney VHS Movies of your choice (Pick from the list) $5.99 Disney Animated Movies – A Magical World Even though Disney has produced myriad movies, it is more popular for its animated ones. After starting the animated journey with Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in the winter of 1937, Disney movies have not [...]

Italian Spiderman – Episode 4

Thursday, June 12th, 2008

If you haven’t discovered the pure hilariousness of Italian Spiderman yet, then now’s the time to start.

Quick Background: Italian Spiderman started when a group of Australian film students made a spoof trailer for an Italian take on the Spiderman franchise from the 70s. The trailer was so popular - and unbelievably hilarious, that they decided to actually go ahead and make the film, which is being released in parts. Check out the trailer and the first three episodes here and watch the latest episode here.

‘Jesu Christo! A Crocodillo!’

Review – The Incredible Hulk (2008)

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

Dave Corkery

Let’s start this review the pretentious, profound way. With a quote:

“Hulk…. Smash!” - The Incredible Hulk

Wise words there. And words that nicely sum up the intentions of Louis Letterier and co. when they decided to have their own go at bringing Marvel’s Green Giant to the big screen. “More action!” they told us, “More smashing!” they said. The fans crossed their fingers, the pessimists said ‘why bother’, but most people agreed that with safe-bet Edward Norton penning and starring in Marvel’s second solo gambit, this would be a cleaner, smarter flick than Ang Lee’s 2003 let-down. And, of course, with more action.

Review – Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls (2008)

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

Dave Corkery

It’s 19 years since Indy last graced our screens and… blah blah blah, let’s face it, this film needs no introduction. Which saves me having to write one. If you haven’t heard about Indiana Jones or the fact that he has a new film out tomorrow then you’ve probably been living in Osama Bin Laden’s cave for too long (if that is true, please let Morgan Spurlock know where he is) So anyway, straight to the review…

In many ways this film feels very detached from the first three. Perhaps it’s because the Indiana Jones we know is a young, adventuring archaeologist who could take on any odds and come out trumps. The Indy we see here is still an adventuring archaeologist who takes on any odds and comes out trumps, except that… he’s old.

I Fucking Hate… J-Horror Remakes

Sunday, May 18th, 2008

by Dave Corkery

I have just returned home from watching Shutter, the latest lazy American remake of an Asian horror film, churned out by an increasingly lethargic Hollywood body.

Needless to say, there was little of merit in the film, the latest in a long-line of good old fashioned American plagiarism. It all began with The Ring in 2002. With some talent on board in the form of Naomi Watts and Gore Verbinski, The Ring was an accomplished re-telling of a truly original and terrifying movie from the Far-East. It opened up the eyes of Western audiences to a world of exciting foreign-made horror movies and was a huge success for Dreamworks.

But then the studio-heads saw something that worked and the flogging began.

I can see them now, sitting in their gigantic boardrooms, walls adorned with posters of ‘The Grudge 2′, ‘The Eye’, ‘Pulse’ and ‘Ernest Goes to Japan.’ They sip on frappuchinos and fiddle with blackberrys while waiting for their douchebag overlord to enter and hear their incessant ‘yes-es.’ In comes a slick, pony-tailed eejit wearing Ray-Bands and a stripper adorned on each shoulder, like parrots to a pirate.

Red-Band Trailer – Tropic Thunder

Sunday, May 18th, 2008

Here’s the new Red Band trailer for the increasingly hilarious looking Tropic Thunder. Ben Stiller’s on usual top form and treading controversially hilarious territory with his previous role as a retarded farm-hand; Jack Black just seems completely annoying in this as he tends to be in real life and then of course, there’s Robert ‘Show-stealing’ Jr. (it’s about emotionality!) . By Tropic Thunder’s release in August, the Iron-Man star will have both opened and closed the 2008 summer to (we can presume) critical aplomb all round.

And how good is Ben Stiller’s tuffle with the lethal midget kid at the end?

Because this is Red Band, you must prove not only that you’re 18, but that you live in the United ‘Gad-DAWM’ States of America. A slight oversight by the Yanks as to the existence of children and teenagers elsewhere in the world (Children of Men was not in fact an expose on the horrors of British life, guys)

However, not to worry, if you haven’t come across a Red-Band trailer before, just enter the name of any movie star you can think of who lives in Beverly Hills and add the post-code 90210 (while quietly humming to yourself the guitar riff from a particular theme song - this part is vital). Tom Cruise works nicely, but just don’t let any scientologists know what you’re doing. They have a lot of money and time on their hands and will more than likely sacrifice you to their alien king (as I write this, I can hear them abseiling through my kitchen window….. I REGRET NOTHING!)


Trailer – The X-Files: I Want to Believe

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

The first trailer for X-Files: I Want to Believe has hit the interweb and it’s as full of all the ambiguity and befuddledness that Mulder and Scully are used to giving their confused audiences. What’s the film about? We don’t really know. But we do know that Billy Connolly seems to have a bigger part than whatever creature/alien/mutant/itinerant’s existence Mulder must convince Sceptic Scully of.

What we do know is that it’s great to see two of Television’s greatest characters back in duffel-coats and pointing flashlights at shadows. And the stand-alone plot will make for a nice breather from the bloated beast that the show’s ongoing alien conspiracy eventually became.

Rumours suggest that ‘I Want to Believe’ is about werewolves, but what do we think? Judging from the trailer, the big bad could be Frosty the Snowman or Jack Frost, but our money’s on the Anti-Santy. Most say that the existence of the Anti-Santy is an urban myth, but I bet Fox Mulder knows better.

Click below and get excited at hearing THAT theme tune again.


One final thought; how bad is that title? It sounds like a mantra for some self-help class. Does anyone out there think it’s good? Let us know below. We would have gone with The X-Files: I Want to See Aliens or The X-Files 2: Spooky Shit. Or The X-Files: What Have We Been Doing For the Last 10 Years?

Review – Speed Racer (2008)

Wednesday, May 7th, 2008

by Richy Davies

“Go speed racer, Go”. For anyone old enough to remember the original cartoon Speed Racer, then these words will be comfortingly familiar. For the uninitiated, Speed Racer was a quirky children’s cartoon that first ran in the 1960‘s with a comeback in the 1990‘s, following the adventures of the eponymous Speed Racer. Each week Speed would compete in a race while also becoming inexplicably involved in a dastardly plan that usually managed to intersect the worlds of international terrorism and professional racing. Predictably, it would then rest on the shoulders of Speed Racer to thwart such plans and win the race, thus providing neat narrative closure and restoring some semblance of order to the Universe.

Review – Iron Man (2008)

Saturday, May 3rd, 2008

by Dave Corkery

Here’s an enigma: Is Robert Downey Jr. a great actor or is Robert Downey Jr. just being Robert Downey Jr. all the time? When a charismatic, smart-mouthed playboy is playing a charismatic, smart-mouthed playboy, it’s hard to tell whether we’re looking at a de Niro style performance or just some cool guy who’s comfortable in front of a camera. But really, when an actor can bring this much energy, humour and sarcastic cool to a role, who really cares if he’s acting or just having a laugh? Downey Jr. is an absolute joy to watch and proves that he oozes enough charm to front a super-budget Hollywood movie. Like Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean, he has proven that he can make the transition from indie golden boy to megastar leading man with ease. What this will mean for his career though, is another matter.

If Movies were real…

Monday, April 28th, 2008

… then Robocop would be an utter waste of tax-payers’ money

by Richy Davies

The thing about technology is that essentially it is shit. It is utterly unreliable and usually makes a point to stop working at a critical moment. Machines are notorious pains in the arse, and so are people for that matter. Robocop is half man and half machine. Worse still, he’s half Irish-man, half machine. Try to imagine if Windows Vista carried a semi-automatic hand cannon and was powered by a dead Irish-man who isn’t particularly pleased about being deceased.

You are imagining Robocop.

Despite being bullet proof, Robocop was not much better than any normal cop, and he was prone to rust. The cost of running and feeding Robocop could probably have paid the salaries of another 20 cops. That’s an entire department.