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Archive for January, 2008
Thursday, January 24th, 2008
Tara Reid got drunk last night in London and flashed her venomous nether regions while getting out of a car. Tara Reid was allegedly sober once. It was during the first few minutes of her birth. Though I hear five bottles of whiskey fell out of her mom’s uterus when they cut the umbilical cord. Years later a pony keg was also found in her fallopian tube. Sadly, it was kicked.
Photos: INFdaily.com
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Thursday, January 24th, 2008
Sylvester Stallone denies ever using steroids but is all about human growth hormone. He used it to beef himself up to 209 pounds for his new Rambo movie. He goes on the record about HGH in the latest issue of Time, according to Page Six:
"HGH [human growth hormone] is nothing. Anyone who calls it a steroid is grossly misinformed," Stallone says in the issue out tomorrow. "Testosterone to me is so important for a sense of well-being when you get older. Everyone over 40 years old would be wise to investigate it because it increases the quality of your life. Mark my words. In 10 years, it will be over the counter."
If you’ll excuse me, I need to build a time machine so I can roid out at CVS in the year 2018. I should be back after lunch to dominate your women. Tell them to dress sexy. Sort of like they’re auditioning for Rock of Love with Bret Michaels but more whoreish. If that’s even possible.
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Thursday, January 24th, 2008
Tracey Edmonds split from Eddie Murphy before the two legally married because he wanted to bring his mother on their honeymoon. He’s also a bit of an asshole. I mean, an alleged asshole. Page Six reports:
That was kind of the last straw," said a friend of the beautiful bride. "She was happy to sign a prenup - she has her own money. She was very accommodating. But then it was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Eddie became very controlling and they got into a huge fight. He started screaming at her and grabbed her. She was scared."
So, when Eddie Murphy isn’t roughing up the ladies, he wants his mom to hear him have sex on his honeymoon. I don’t want to say Eddie Murphy is the pinnacle of mental health, but, seriously, he seems well-adjusted. I bet he walks down the street and pushes old people into traffic. You know, because he’s deep like that.
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Thursday, January 24th, 2008
In a mind-boggling spectacle of sound and vision, U2 elevates the art of the concert film.
If you’ve ever experienced U2 in concert, you’re well aware that Bono can seem larger than life even when he’s physically in front of you. Beholding a three-dimensional projection of him on a massive IMAX screen quite literally solidifies that illusion. In a mind-boggling spectacle of sound and vision, U2 elevates the art of the…
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Thursday, January 24th, 2008
Amy Winehouse checked into rehab today, according to a statement issued by her record label Universal Music Group:
"Amy decided to enter the facility today after talks with her record label, management, family and doctors. She has come to understand that she requires specialist treatment to continue her ongoing recovery from drug addiction."
Meanwhile, her cat is still nowhere to be found. A representative for London Taxi Co. refused to comment.
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Thursday, January 24th, 2008
NEW YORK, Jan. 24, 2008 (PRIME NEWSWIRE) -- Travelzoo (Nasdaq:TZOO), a global Internet media company, today revealed the top 5 most romantic ways to pop the question this Valentine's Day.
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Thursday, January 24th, 2008
Britney Spears caused an incident at a Beverly Hills elementary school when she was spotted outside smoking and talking to herself, according to Us Magazine:
“She was just rambling and confused,” says the witness, who approached Spears to ask if she was OK. “She said, ‘I’m here to pick up my kids.’ But then she changed her story and said, ‘They aren’t my kids; I have a new attorney, and I came to pick them up for her.’”
At this point the kids were being let out and the sight of Britney Spears naturally terrified the little tykes:
“It became the talk of the school. Some of the kids were freaked out,” says a school source. She was directed to a more secure entrance around back.
But before getting into her car and driving off (without any children), she chatted up the female witness: “She said, ‘You’re so nice. You should give me your number. I don’t have very many friends.’"
Either Britney Spears is now trying to kidnap random children or her lawyer is stupendously fucking retarded. Who the hell sends Britney to pick up their children? You’d be better off finding a pack of stray dogs and letting them sniff your kid’s hat. Of course, my lazy dad didn’t have much luck with this method. I was always biting the neighbors on account of the rabies, and they never did find my brother Jeffy.... But then again, Britney Spears, I dunno. Can't you just buy the kids guns?
Photos: Splash News
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Thursday, January 24th, 2008
Despite the cold and rain, we had a sizable turnout at the Van Ness gate this morning, with four newcomers joining the stalwart crew. The Seattle folks brought coffee (purchased locally; they didn’t bring it with them), while feature scribes Amy and Liz enthusiastically pitched the plotline of Miracle Mile, an LA disaster movie they claim seriously smokes Volcano.
To me, it’s the lack of an urban core which seriously weakens LA’s viability for disaster movies. What is a giant monster supposed to attack? The Hollywood sign? A landmark made of white-painted wood isn’t particularly smash-worthy. If recollection serves, The Day After Tomorrow took it out with twisters, but that was hardly a key plot point.
No, the Cloverfield equivalent of LA would find the monster smashing the Santa Monica Pier, then walking 20 minutes to take out the Getty Center, and subsequently getting lost in the Valley while trying to find the Griffith Park observatory. Our most iconic feature is our vast freeway system, which doesn’t lend itself to cinematic destruction.
What LA needs is an ostentatious, provocative and destroyable landmark. Yes, it would be catnip for terrorists. But think of the movies.
Back at Paramount, we had more traffic than we’d seen in weeks, with many cars and trucks backed up. Completely not our doing — it was the security gate checking IDs. After the 10th truck with barking dogs in back, we started to realize that something other than Star Trek must be shooting on the lot. A friendly teamster gave us the answer: Hotel for Dogs.
Thursday is our Friday, so no picketing until Monday. Over the weekend, I’ll update with any special information.
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Thursday, January 24th, 2008
Finally saw one that blew my doors off last night: "Young@Heart," British filmmaker Stephen Walker traveled to Northampton, Mass., to film the Young@Heart Chorus, a vocal choir whose average age is 80 and whose choice of material includes songs by The Clash, James Brown, Sonic Youth, and a lot of Talking Heads.
Watching two very old-timers give The Godfather of Soul?s ?I Feel Good? their all is a very special experience indeed, and the movie works like a charm at the cutesy-grandpa level. As ?Young@Heart? progresses, though, and some of the choir members fall by the wayside, the real toughness and clarity of the subjects renders the film immensely moving. These geriatrics have no illusions about where they are and where they?re going ? soon ? and their response is to find new meaning in Coldplay?s ?Fix Me? and bellow the Clash?s ?Should I Stay or Should I Go? against the dying of the light. It?s a lesson not lost on everyone at this festival.
Here's some video of choir director Bob Cilman addressing the audience after the screening. (If I'd had my finger on the trigger faster I would have captured 85-year-old Dora Morrow doing her best James Brown impression. What can I say -- I'm a critic, not a cameraman.)
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Thursday, January 24th, 2008
Rob Meyer is a Newton boy who lives in New York now, but his short film, "Aquarium," is shot partly at the New England Aquarium and it definitely captures the surreal, blandly dysfunctional vibe of the western suburbs. The opens with a scene that had the audience dead set against the film and then slowly works its way back into our good graces, with funny, dead-on performances by a handful of adolescent leads.
"Aquarium" screened last night as part of the "Shorts Program I" compilation, which also included a very strong post-Hurricane Katrina short story called "Second Line" -- it played like black Flannery O'Connor from where I sat -- and an eerie Dutch short called "Dennis," featuring an amazing man-mountain body-builder in the title role.
Anyway, the filmmakers were all at the screening and answered questions at the end, Here's a video of Meyer telling the audience that, no, he did not kill his dog.
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