Archive for February, 2008

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Thursday, February 14th, 2008

Look, everybody, it's the mentally-challenged yet awesomely augmented superhero Valentine's Girl! Yay! She's here to ward off loneliness and broken hearts with a barrage of nipples. Also she's wielding her, uh, trusty baton covered in tin-foil. I have no fucking clue but God bless her retarded heart. Thanks, Valentine's Girl! NOTE: These are actually NSFW shots of British TV personality Katie "Jordan" Price at a book-signing this morning for her third autobiography "Jordan: Pushed to the Limit." I had no idea her life required not one but three novels. Yet somehow none of them are part of Oprah's Book Club. What a travesty.
Photos: Getty Images

The Dawn of Japanese Animation: Feb 13-16 in NYC

Thursday, February 14th, 2008

The Dawn of Japanese Animation: Feb 13-16 in NYC

   Post from: Motionographer

Pamela Anderson: A bra? What for?

Thursday, February 14th, 2008

Pamela Anderson stepped out in Paris last night wearing a see-through dress and no bra. She'll also be stripping tonight at the Crazy Horse for a lucky Valentine's crowd. I say lucky because I assume seeing Pamela Anderson naked is still awesome which, c'mon, it is. But don't take my word for it. I've been drinking beer and eating candy hearts all day. Also I'm pretty sure I just had sex with the toaster.
Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Splash News

Pete Doherty does children parties

Thursday, February 14th, 2008

Everyone's favorite crackhead/cartoon character Pete Doherty is available for your little one's next birthday party. Pete's only charging $200 which is quite the bargain. Page Six reports:
"The birthday girl's dad told him she was a huge fan," one source told the Showbiz Spy Web site. "Pete was flattered and happy to oblige. He turned up and played his big hits. Everyone had a great time."
I'm totally hiring Pete for my nephew's birthday. But only as a backup in case the zoo won't let me rent a lion. My plan is to let it just roam free around the backyard while the kids pelt it with candy. Should be a good time. If that falls through, I guess I'll let Pete Doherty play a few songs. But only if he's in a glass cage. I don't need my nephew catching scurvy. You gotta take precautions with kids these days.
Photos: Bauer-Griffin

Facebook, a hive mind question

Thursday, February 14th, 2008

beeOnce upon a time, I had a MySpace page, to which I happily added anyone as a friend. But right around hitting the 1,000 friend mark, I realized my patience for the site’s embedded idiocy — the 1998-style formatting, cheesy graphics, junior high demographics — was finite. I left it sitting fallow,1 even while recognizing it would be another way to promote the DVD release of The Nines.

Peer-pressured into trying Facebook, I added only friends I hung out with in the real world.2 I admire Facebook’s clean design and overall lack of hooliganism. The news feed is ingenious, and the company shows a willingness to borrow from the best (Twitter, Flickr, etc.). Still, I’m a sporadic user; I haven’t become addicted to Scrabulous or any of the real time-sucks.

This morning, I stumbled upon the “fan” architecture for Facebook. It’s a separate kind of page you set up for a person or thing (such a band or a movie), which users can subscribe to without the mutual-approval process of Facebook friendship. For example, here’s one for Amy Sedaris.

So I’m now contemplating whether to do such a page for The Nines, and possibly myself. I’d welcome any insight from Facebook power-users, because while I see a lot of potential in leveraging the news feeds to build awareness of the movie’s existence, I don’t know if it’s going to be worth my time or others’. The discussion and message board features seem useful, yet are only slightly more advanced than the IMDb equivalents. There may be good Facebook applications to make it a no-brainer.

I don’t know, but I have a hunch some readers will. Thoughts?


  1. Well, not technically “fallow,” which implies the possibility of new fertility after a period of dormancy. I’m pretty sure I’ll never be going back.
  2. Which is why, if I’ve “ignored” you, please don’t take offense.

Raekwon knows how to romance

Thursday, February 14th, 2008
0214_raekwon_vday_00.JPG While doing the standard Valentine's Day fluff piece where celebrities are asked what their plans are, NY Daily News dug up Wu Tang Clan's Raekwon who showed he knows the true meaning of the holiday:
"It's a special day. It's a day to understand the person who means the most to you." So how to celebrate?
"I'm the type of dude who may be in a helicopter over the city having sex."
Now that's romantic. There's nothing quite like banging a hooker while the pilot struggles to keep everyone alive because your fat ass causes a perpetual loss in altitude. Just describing it makes me feel like I'm reading a Hallmark card as little cupids fly around my head. *sigh*
Photo: Getty Images

The Toy Industry Association, Inc. (TIA) Chairman to Ring the NASDAQ Stock Market Closing Bell

Thursday, February 14th, 2008
ADVISORY, Feb. 14, 2008 (PRIME NEWSWIRE) --

Westminster Kennel Club to Ring the NASDAQ Stock Market Opening Bell

Thursday, February 14th, 2008
ADVISORY, Feb. 14, 2008 (PRIME NEWSWIRE) --

Changing horses mid-stream

Thursday, February 14th, 2008

questionmarkI am on page 75 of a screenplay that I am writing, and I was so excited about finally finishing a draft. Then today, I went to write and came up with a MUCH better first act — which would mean completely rewriting the first act and seriously reworking the second and third act. I pitched it to an exec I used to work for and he agrees that, while the old idea is viable, the new idea is much more organic and the characters are inherently more flawed, and thus, more likeable than the Kate Hudson-esque characters that preceded them.

If you were in this situation, would you proceed with the current draft, or immediately begin on the rewrite?

– Anna
Los Angeles

If your new first act embodies the movie you want to make, then grinding out the last 45 pages of the “old” movie will do you no favors. So write the new first act.

Yes, I generally caution that rewriting is the enemy of finishing — you can find yourself rewriting the first 20 pages a dozen times, and never complete the full script. And your new ideas will always seem more exciting than your old ideas, simply because they’re fresh and unimplemented.

But there’s nothing so dispiriting as finishing a script you know is fundamentally flawed. As a professional writer, you’re sometimes stuck in that situation, forced to implement notes that couldn’t conceivably work (c.f. Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle). But for your own scripts, you should never be printing out 120 pages of ambivalence.

Continuing this discussion of mixed emotions, what is “Kate Hudson-esque?” Is it a mathematical derivative of Goldie Hawn, approximating the slope of comedy without ever achieving intersection?

Because while I can sense the stereotype you’re wrestling with — pretty, manic, girl-next-door — there’s a fairly wide swath of actresses I’d put in that category: Jennifer Aniston, Mandy Moore, Katherine Heigl. Many actresses could play a “Kate Hudson-esque” role, more or less interchangeably. And that’s not good, particularly in a comedy. (I’m guessing you’re writing a comedy.)

So as you’re rewriting the first act, and introducing your characters, create situations and motivations that will keep the reader from ever thinking of Kate Hudson. If it helps, make the oddest mental casting choice you can and write the role that way. When your script sells, and Kate Hudson stars in it, she’ll have the opportunity to not be “Kate Hudson-esque.” And she’ll thank you profusely.

Jane Fonda says the C-word on Today Show

Thursday, February 14th, 2008
Jane Fonda said "cunt" this morning on The Today Show. The show was celebrating the 10th anniversary of The Vagina Monologues. Jane cracked a joke by saying she'd never seen the show because she was in Georgia performing in "Cunt." This video is uncensored and forgoes subtlety to make sure you catch the bomb Jane Fonda drops on network television. It would be the most hilariously awesome video I've seen today if our sister site I Watch Stuff didn't just post the new Indiana Jones teaser. I'm now running around the office whipping my belt at everything in sight. Unfortunately, it was also holding up my pants, so a big apology to my co-workers who had to see my exposed "Temple of Doom." Trust me, it looks bigger in the dark. Also squinting helps.