There's about to be a gunfight at the Herp-K Corral. Britney Spears and Benji Madden have been "secretly dating," according to In Touch. The two were supposedly hooked up by Britney's manager Larry Rudolph who's hoping to use their relationship to promote her upcoming tour. Via PopCrunch:

“They’ve been on a few dates,” a snitch close to Madden revealed in the December 29 edition of the tab. “They met once at The Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills for dinner in a hotel suite.”
So far, things are blossoming smoothly for the rumored lovers.
“She appears to like Benji a lot, and he seems to really like her.”
According to the In Touch spy, Britney’s manager worked with Papa Jamie Spears to create a list of potential boyfriends for the pop icon. In addition to Benji, the list also included Gossip Girl star Chace Crawford, actor Jesse Metcalf, and Olympian Michael Phelps.
“Larry made some phone calls and Benji ended up being the most interested in being fixed up.”

Of course, Benji Madden was the most interested. He just got dumped by Paris Hilton. If somebody asked him "Hey, Benji, want to date a ham sandwich?", he'd probably throw on a tux and buy flowers. I mean, God, he just wants someone to hold him close and say "Everything's gonna be alright - unless you're having an outbreak then, Jesus Christ, get off my bed." Is that too much to ask? *sigh*

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer were conveniently spotted together last night in New York City being very affectionate. The couple usually go out of the way to avoid being photographed together, but this time they might as well have started posing. Realizing subtlety wasn't invited on this date, John Mayer jokingly referenced the 900 gorilla in the room. Us Magazine reports:

While walking, he plugged her new movie Marley & Me.
"I'm happy to report the movie is completely in focus," he told photographers as Aniston laughed. "I want everyone to know that."
Then he joked that he and Aniston were walking all the way to Harlem.
"90 more blocks, guys!" he teased photographers. "90 more blocks!"

For his participation, John Mayer was awarded one 30-second trip to second base. (Under the shirt, above the bra.) However, this didn't exclude him from their nightly ritual of watching Mr. & Mrs. Smith while crying and stabbing tabloid pictures of Angelina Jolie in the face. But they did make S'Mores. Awww yeah!

Here's the second round of exclusive pics from Kim Kardashian's 2009 Wall Calendar. Now with more seductively placed area rugs and Western-themed innuendos. Giddy up! Thanks again to Kim Kardashian who wants you to swing by her online store and pick up a calendar for someone you love this holiday. On that note, Grandma, your Christmas just got shitloads more awesome! And to think, I almost bought you that Josh Groban CD you wanted. You're welcome.