Joe Francis‘ psychiatric report was filed in federal court this past Friday and the contents are quite….interesting.

In the documents, the incarcerated Girls Gone Wild s claim that there was a potential for suicide if his imprisonment were prolonged. “I don’t think I can handle this on a long-term–I’m not a criminal,” he said.

He also reveals he’s taking a bunch of anxiety and other medication to tame the crazy, even while in jail.

Francis, a hardcore partier, also attempted to minimize his drug use.

The report says, “He denied use of marijuana, indicated that he used cocaine ‘a handful of times’ and ‘I tried mushrooms.’ He further portrayed himself as a social drinker, ‘once weekly–one drink.'”

Uh huh!

Water + Sand + Sun + Shirtless +Hugh Jackman = Yum dipped on a stick!

The actor enjoyed Bondi Beach in Sydney this past weekend with his beard wife and kids.

The very reputable USA Today is reporting – in gory detail – about Lindsay Lohan‘s non-stop party of a weekend in the Bahamas.

The paper says:

“Lindsay Lohan landed in the Bahamas Friday, and while she wouldn’t speak with reporters all weekend, she was a force on the island nonetheless.

After taking in a Janet Jackson concert Friday night, she partied at Atlantis’ Aura nightclub until the wee hours. The actress started the evening sipping water, but much later was seen with a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of Jack Daniels in the other.

In her roped-off VIP section, she got very cozy with beau Calum Best, a hot model in the U.K. The smell of marijuana wafted through the area. Best shared whatever he was smoking with Fantastic Four star Chris Evans, who nodded and held his breath before exhaling. (The next day, when asked about the scene, Evans said, “Goodness gracious. No comment.”)

Goodnes gracious.

There’s just no stopping the Firecrotch!

Wannabe U.S. President John Edwards has a new friend.

The politician, vying for the Democratic party’s nomination, struck up a conversation with musician John Mayer at last week’s Time 100 party and the two really hit it off.

Edwards has scheduled a meeting with Mayer, who offered to help him “connect” to the youth market.

“He was talking about the language of young people, his generation,” Edwards said. “He basically said, ‘You’ve got to get me in the first twenty seconds. I watch movies on YouTube, and if they’re 25 seconds long, they’re five seconds too long.”

John Mayer appeals to people under 30?

Ashlee Simpson is following her musician boyfriend, Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy, on the road!

The pop tart was spotted at the rocker’s concert in Bonner Springs, Kansas on Sunday.

And, she reportedly “rocked out” during the band’s set.

Many Fall Out Boy fans are not happy that Asslee’s on the road, though.

They hate her!

Rosie O’Donnell announced on The View this morning that Tom Cruise gave her a bouquet of flowers for Mothers’ Day.

She also applauded the Scientologists efforts to help 9/11 recovery workers.

And, O’Donnell even congratulated Donald Trump on being a new grandfather.

Elizabitch and Rosie got into another heated fight about the World Trade Center attacks, and Hasselbeck held her own.

She is quite spunky that blonde one.

Joe looked bored to tears to have to sit through another one of those conversations.

It’s so great to be back in NY an have a TV!

Tyra Banks was never fat, but she sure milked that angle for press quite brilliantly.

The Top Model and talk show host showed off her bangin’ bod at that big celebrity clusterfuck in the Bahamas this past weekend.

Looking good and feeling gorgeous!

[Image via Celebrity Vibe. Contact: Celebrityvibe@gmail.com]

“JK Rowling to write eighth Harry Potter book“

Rejoice! CLICK HERE for all the details on the final final work.

The New York Times examines today the downfall of Katie Couric and the CBS Evening News.

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