And it's time to expatriate. Apparently, Heidi Montag is a political force worthy of entertaining lunch with John McCain's daughter Meghan. The two met yesterday at the Ivy where Meghan tried her best to wish herself into her cell phone. I'm pretty sure, when her father loses in November, his campaign manager will point to these photos and say: "There. Right there. When Jugs Chinsterton smiles directly into the camera. That's the moment we were fucked. Well, that and the fact that, dude, you are old. Tell me a story about living with dinosaurs."

Former UFC champ Quinton "Rampage" Jackson was arrested yesterday after hitting a whole bunch of cars while attempting to elude police in Costa Mesa, Calif. In case you missed the headline, Rampage was driving a massive camoflauged Ford F-250 that kind of sort of had his face plastered on both driver AND passenger-side doors. I guess he was trying to compete with the Joker's smile mobile; I have no fucking clue. SI.com reports:

A Costa Mesa patrol officer attempted to pull Jackson over after he was seen weaving in and out of traffic with a flat front left tire, according to a release issued by the Costa Mesa Police Department. Jackson, 30, continued driving to avoid being stopped. Losing control of the truck, Jackson drove up onto a sidewalk. He continued on, colliding with a vehicle in an intersection and running several red lights.
Eventually, the truck came to a stop and Jackson, originally of Memphis, Tenn., was arrested without incident at gunpoint.

I'm going to assume that, somewhere after he hopped a curb then ran a couple of red lights, the following thought went through Rampage Jackson's head: "And my face is on the car isn't it? Super duper. Should've gone with Mr. T punching a tiger, Rampage. Oh, wow, that's a gun."

These are the much ballyhooed photos of Sienna Miller hanging out topless in Portofino, Italy with married actor Balthazar Getty of ABC's Brothers and Sisters. The dude has been denying in the press that he's involved with Sienna, but just in case, his wife is flying to Italy to sort things out, according to NY Daily News. I hope she likes nipples. NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that, for some reason, make me see Gilligan's Island in a whole new light.

These are promotional shots for Paris Hilton's new hair extension line DreamCatchers. You can check out the company site here if you absolutely hate your eyes, ears and sense of dignity. In the meantime, I've come up with some slogans to help Paris in her entrepreneurial pursuit: DreamCatchers: Because you've stopped taking your meds and stole your grandmother's purse. Get beautiful! DreamCatchers: Look we gave her some money and figured she'd choke on the extensions during the development process. Who knew? DreamCatchers: Or you can keep looking like a trash bag full of cottage cheese, Kim Kardashian. DreamCatchers: Because you know who gives great hair advice? Chicks with herpes. That's science. Hair science.

Eva Longoria is addressing recent pregnancy rumors that kicked into overdrive after her recent bikini pics while vacationing in Italy were released. Turns out she's allegedly packing on the pounds for the next season of Desperate Housewives which would explain these pics from the set and later that day getting dinner with Tony Parker. OK! Magazine reports:

“For the upcoming season of Desperate Housewives [Eva's character] Gabrielle has "gained" weight and cut her hair," says the actress' rep Liza Anderson. "She is now a worn-out mother with two kids. Eva has enjoyed a more relaxed environment and will even be wearing butt pads and stomach pads.”

Ha ha! Good excuse. I hope they name the kid "El Guapo" - after me. Okay, maybe that's not really my name, but since everybody's making shit up, I'd figured I'd get in on the action. Now, if you'll excuse me, El Guapo needs to play beach volleyball with his shirt off then fly a fighter jet in a dangerous mission to save Iceman. Or maybe he'll just take a nap under his desk. El Guapo is undecided.