Karl Bauer's Deadly Obsessions (2003) is a semi-erotic thriller in which people try to deal with their failed marriages by finding love elsewhere, whether it's in another person or money or both. Marty (Nick Capous) and Rebecca (Irene Glezos) are in a loveless marriage, both of them cheating on each other without really bothering to hide it. Marty has Monica (Michelle Verhoeven), and we can probably assume there are others. Rebecca has her best friend, Lisa (Karen Stanion), a bi-sexual participant in an equally loveless marriage who's teaching Rebecca how to be a proper lesbian while attempting to seduce Marty. Throw in a murder plot, and you've got the makings of some sexy escapist cinema. Fun for the whole family, as they say.

Only, it isn't nearly sexy enough or escapist enough or even campy enough to really succeed in any one direction. The performances aren't so over-the-top to justify the type of guilty pleasure you'd find in a telenova — everyone's very serious about what's going on, but not in a histrionic sort of way. The plot isn't big enough to be escapist. Sure, there's murder and lesbians and deception, but it's not a combination we haven't seen before and none of it's shocking. The lesbian twist is pretty apparent early in the film, so it comes as no surprise. But, the film seems to think of it as something of a trump card (albeit a preliminary one), so it spends all this time setting up a grand reveal and all the audience can say is "well, yeah, of course they are." It doesn't help that the first lesbian scene breaks the 180 degree rule maybe 15 times. That's not the type of thing that instills confidence in your audience.

Nothing the film does, plot-wise, is bold enough to get our attention. At no point does it really go for broke and risk being a big disaster. It plays close to the vest, unwilling to take a real chance. And there isn't enough talent on display (not to say the people involved don't possess that talent, it just isn't on the screen) for Deadly Obsessions to work as a middle-of-the-road thriller. Ergo, it ends up being kind of dull.

And that brings us to the sex. These characters spend a great deal of time having sex. The script has lots of sex. The film does not. What we get more often than not is a fade to black, or a pan to the window. It feels like the sex has been edited out of the film by someone other than the director, like a TV edit. Actually, the entire time I'm watching Deadly Obsessions I can't shake the feeling that what I'm watching is one of those 80's TV movies they show on Saturday afternoon when there's no college basketball on. For most of the film I actually thought that's what Bauer was going for, I thought he'd made an interesting genre choice, but the more I watched, the more I thought it couldn't be possible. Too much of it was modern, even if they did seem to be wearing clothes that had a distinct 80's look. Maybe it's the fact that the film is shot on 16mm.

One more note. The script feels like an early draft. Much of the dialogue is stilted and cliche, almost a script by numbers. There's very little subtext, and what little we do have is played so that it's impossible to miss (which kind of defeats the purpose of subtext). But more importantly, there's a long exposition scene between Marty and Lisa that just destroys any and all momentum the film had. The scene is at least 10 minutes long — maybe longer — but it feels like 45 minutes and after a while you don't even care what they're saying. You just want the scene to end. That's when my roommate decided he'd rather be doing something else.

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But hey, I could be wrong. Check out Deadly Obsessions for yourself at the official homepage. You can purchase the film for $14.99 on FilmBaby.com. You can read the director's blog here.

Got a film you'd like to submit for the uber-indie project? Here are the details.

starring: Nick Capous, Irene Glezos, Karen Stanion, and Michelle Verhoeven
cinematography by: Karl G. Bauer
written and directed by: Karl G. Bauer
$50,000/101 min/Philadelphia, PA

On Thursday's General Hospital:

Ric continued to put pressure on Spinelli to come clean about Lorenzo's murder. Spinelli toyed with the DA, resorting to his video-game language and reciting plotlines from the Lord of the Rings while Jason nervously watched on. In the end Ric demanded his laptop, and said he would be getting a warrant to obtain all the computer equipment in Jason's penthouse. After the DA had left the room, Spinelli said that the laptop he gave Ric was a "dummy" and the other computer was set to lock down if tampered with by anyone but him.

Elizabeth sunk to an all-new low. She told Lucky she couldn't go to the courthouse because there was no sitter for the kids, then promptly ran to visit Jason the minute her husband left the house. She asked Jason if there was anything she could do for him. Liz, you're a nurse not a lawyer. Jason's not injured or sick, he's in jail. No, there isn't anything you can do. Go and at least pretend to love the man you chose.

Needless to say, when Lucky found his wife visiting Jason, he was none too happy. But when called out on her lies, Liz only got more angry and indignant.

I guess Michael and Morgan went over to Kate's property again, and this time harpooned one of her ornamental Japanese koi. The only thing we really know for sure is Kate tossed a bag with a dead fish on Sonny's desk demanding he do something about it. Carly showed up at his office in time to hear Kate call her kids spoiled little monsters.

Of course that inspired another cat-fight. Later, Carly returned to the hotel to find Kate and Jax discussing the issue, Kate turning on all her charms (who knew she had any, this is the first we're seeing of it) and capitalizing on her past acquaintance with him. If you thought Carly showed claws over Sonny, she lashed out bigger and badder ones over Jax. It's good to know she can be at least as jealous over her husband as she is her ex.

In the aftermath of Scott being awarded guardianship of Laura, Lulu softened a bit toward her father. She told Luke that if her mother could forgive and love him, who was she to hold resentment for something from so long ago, though it was obvious she was still pained and tormented by everything.

Tracy, on the other hand, knew exactly what the judge's ruling meant and asked Luke when he was leaving and how long he would be gone, saying she would stick to her agreement to help him kidnap Laura. Luke gratefully promised Tracy he would return to her as soon as he made sure Laura was safe from Scott's clutches.

Logan squared off against a gloating Scott at Kelly's. If these two are not father and son, someone in casting messed up. They look, move, and speak as if they were cut from the same cloth. I'm still betting (and hoping) that is what we find out very soon. When Scott left, Logan moved on and began working Lulu, playing on her pain to win his deal with Maxie, who watched on with sadistic pleasure. I'm not sure what happened with Cooper standing behind her while she was discussing the plan with Logan. The only remnants we saw was Logan saying "he just came back for his book," I guess he heard nothing.

Sam returned to Port Charles after her location shoot and ran to the hospital to find out the results of her fertility tests. It was there she learned from Ric that Jason had been arrested. Off to the jail she went.

In the meantime, Amelia ran to Sonny's office to get a little action on the mob-boss's desk. After the fact, Sonny discovered her big thick file on Sam, her past, and all her identities.

Warning! News and Spoilers Ahead!

• On Friday's GH: Sonny learns all the sordid details about Sam's past and Amelia's plan to tear her to shreds. The question is, will he high-tail it over to the jail to tell Jason… or will Amelia beat him to it?

Wife, mother, aspiring novelist, and music editor at BC Magazine, Connie Phillips spends most of her time in a fantasy land of her own creating. In reality, she writes about music, television, and the process of writing, when she’s not cheering on her kids at equestrian events. Contact: Phillips.connie@gmail.com