Filed under: Celebrities and Controversy, Box Office, Fandom, Newsstand

Remember that Jessica Simpson film called Blonde Ambition that was supposed to be going straight to DVD after everyone involved pretty much agreed that it sucked, and wasn't worth a theatrical release? Well, according to Slashfilm, Blonde Ambition was given a theatrical release this weekend on 8 screens in Simpson's hometown of Texas. (In case you're interested, the film will officially hit DVD on January 22.) So you figure since the film is opening on eight screens in the gal's hometown, that all theaters would be packed full of hardcore Simpson fans, friends, random acquaintances -- what have you.

Yeah, well try this one on for size: The flick grossed a whopping $384 bucks on Friday, meaning the per screen average was $48. Slashfilm breaks it down even more: "Based on an $8 ticket price, that means that 6 people paid to see the movie at each of those theatres, and only 48 people went to see the movie! That's amazing! One of the worst performances a movie has ever had. I am projecting that Jessica's "star vehicle" will gross just $1,190 this weekend or $149 per location." Six people per theater? If that's not the definition of pathetic, I don't know what is. Additionally, Simpson ain't the most popular person in Texas right now, considering the fact that ever since she started dating Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, the guy's weekly performance has declined to a point where his teammates don't even want the girl near the stadium for fear she'll ruin the team's Superbowl chances. Yup, the next Julia Roberts she most certainly is.

UPDATE: Cinematical's Peter Martin, a Dallas resident, informed me of the following: "The film opened on three Dallas-area theaters -- all Cinemark Discount Theatres, with tickets on Friday and Saturday after 6:00 pm priced at $2.00 (matinee prices: $1.00). Still a pathetic performance, but means a few more people actually attended. That's balanced by the fact that it's the only new release playing at the bargain theatres, which is embarrassing in itself."

Filed under: Awards, Deals, Celebrities and Controversy, Politics, Oscar Watch

I haven't been following the strike issue nearly as close as I'd like, but I'm starting to get increasingly interested as it looks like there's less and less chance of a deal being cut to spare the Golden Globes and Academy Awards from the wrath of the writers. David Poland's blog is the place for some entertaining commentary on this issue. Like everyone else, he doesn't care about whether or not the Globes goes on, but he's absolutely enraged at the thought of Oscar being put in the crosshairs next. "There is a world of difference between f*cking with 100 'foreigners' with the collective journalistic weight of a sitcom sidekick's blog and taking on 6,000 of the town's most powerful people," he writes. He goes on to explain how the Oscar ceremony is a critical income generator for the AMPAS and attempting to derail it is tantamount to a declaration of war. "If the union tries to shut down Oscar, they will be messing with something more than money. WGA would really be tapping into the mass ego of the industry," he writes, before blasting off into an extended hyperbole that ends with -- I'm not kidding -- a picture of Moe Green about to get shot in the eye.

And what does Nikki Finke think about this line of argument? Not much. Her position is that the WGA simply has them over a barrel, and it's their own fault, although she does confine most of her argument to the Globes issue -- she hasn't said very much about Oscar specifically yet, but you can see where she's headed. "For the AMPTP to expect a groundswell of Internet anger aimed at the WGA for threatening the Golden Globes or the Academy Awards is naive not to mention downright laughable. The ratings for these shows keep going down almost every year so the public doesn't much care."