1) There's a new Britney sex tape.

2) Jamie Lynn's been dumped by her boyfriend.

We're pretty sure both are not true.

"Drinking long-term is a lot worse than doing heroin. Alcohol's a real poison."

- Amy Winehouse tells the new issue of OK! magazine

[Image via Mr. Paparazzi.]

Casey Aldridge has broken things off with Jamie Lynn Spears and is demanding a paternity test. Turns out he might not be the father of her baby. Jamie Lynn is rumored to be carrying the child of an older TV producer, according to the latest issue of In Touch Weekly:

"He wants a paternity test," Britney told the Spears family friend, according to In Touch Weekly. "Casey doesn't want to be with her until he's sure that he's the father."

Wait a minute. Britney Spears is the source of this gossip. Okay, I find that hard to believe. Britney’s got way more important things going on right now then chatting about Jamie Lynn. I’m talking like really serious dire stuff that requires her undivided attention. As you’re reading this Britney is taxing her full mental capacity to decide exactly how much of her breasts she should expose at the gas station. NASA doesn’t even think that hard about launching rockets.

The party's over…but it's really just begun!

Kevin and Nick Jonas are seen entering their tour bus after leaving the Crowne Plaza Hotel in downtown Albany, New York.

The Jonas Brothers have played their final sold out show at the Times Union Centre as part of the Hannah Montana tour.

Now they're going to do their own thing!

[Image via Buzz Foto.]

Big girl, you are beautiful!

She may be less than half the size of her former self, but Ricki Lake will always be part of the big girls' club…and she's an inspiration to us all!

The former fattie looked marvelous at a special screening of her documentary, The Business of Being Born, Wednesday night at the IFC Centre in New York City.

Do your thing, honey!

[Images via WENN.]

Sources reveal exclusively to PerezHilton.com that Britney and her paparazzi lover, Adnan Ghalib, flew in to Baja California on Wednesday.

However, sources tell us they are no longer there!

Where are they????

NO ONE knows….yet.

Spears and Ghalib arrived at the Rosarito Beach Hotel around 3 p.m. Wednesday.

"She was wearing pink hair, denim and black boots," a source tells us.

Unfitney decided to take in a little shopping soon after her arrival in Baja.

She bought two (fake) Gucci purses (one orange and the other black) and he bought a religious item called a "rosario" ($60 dlls).

They stayed in a junior suite ($235 dlls a night) and management sent her a gift bag with Mexican candy.

Spears and Ghalib checked out that same night - around 9:50 P.M. Wednesday evening.

Where the heck did they go to next???????

[Image via WENN.]

Jamie Lynn Spears must be saving up for a crib, or her very own trailer, because she felt the need to stiff a waitress while dining out. Page Six reports:

The pregnant "Zoey 101" star irked waitresses at La Carreta, a Mexican restaurant 40 miles outside her hometown of Kentwood, La., when she failed to leave a tip after she and a friend ate there recently. "Jamie is not well-liked here," says waitress Brittanie Heaney, who makes just $2.37 an hour.

It looks like Jamie Lynn Spears is going for the redneck trifecta: knocked up at 16, studying for a GED and tips for shit. Someone get Jamie Lynn her picture box so she can watch her stories. She's done earned it.

Kate Middleton celebrated her birthday in London on Wednesday night.

Noticeably absent from the festivities was her on-again boyfriend, Prince William. He's probably doing some military training or fucking three girls somewhere else.

Kate was joined by her sister Pippa for a night on the town, which included a stop at club Kitts.

Middleton turned 26.

They better not keep making her wait to get engaged. She's not getting any younger!

[Image via WENN.]