Bret Michaels and Amber Lake, the "winner" of Rock of Love 2 have broken up. I guess every rose does have it's thorn. And that thorn is made of total manufactured bullshit needed to launch a third season of Bret's reality show. People reports:

Lake, who recently moved to L.A. from her native Chicago to pursue her career, also made it clear that she completely backs Michaels’s decision to take the show on the road for a third installment. This time it’s called Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels and the women vying for his affection will follow the rocker on a month-long tour across the country.
“Third time’s the charm!” says Lake, who plans to watch the new season and is happy to be a sounding board for Michaels. “I can’t stress enough that I support his decision. He’s going to take it on the road, and that’s where he spends the majority of his life. What a great concept.”

Yes, what a great concept indeed - for Bret Michaels. Has anyone ever seen the show? Here's the formula to pretty much every episode. And if someone you know actually thinks this shit is real, you owe it to them to push them out of a moving vehicle: -Bret packs a mansion with strippers, single moms and former Playboy Playmates. At least one of these women will look like she's straight out of a Whitesnake video and/or used to be named Bill. -The gaggle of whores compete in Road Rules-esque challenges that are so asinine Bret doesn't even pretend to watch them while the show's filming and, instead, rides his motorcycle around in circles. -Catfights break out. Usually about who really loves Bret and who's here to be on TV. (Hint: They're mostly Shot of Love with Tila Tequila rejects. Except for the one psycho that's allowed on each season to stir things up. She truly does love Bret and, if the producers cross their fingers hard enough, will stab a stripper to prove it.) -Bret goes on a private date. Gets laid in a limo, haystack, or Ed Hardy dressing room. -Bret eliminates a lady (Typically the one he just nailed.) while shedding a well-timed tear or two when really he can't wait to stop filming so he can bang a hotel room full of groupies from the last county fair he just played. I guess what I'm trying to say is: Jesus walks among us, my friends. And he wears a wig.

Click here for a retrospective of the style and many looks of Miz Dita Von Teese.

100 photos!

Super fab.

The return of Jordan!

Katie Price donned her Jordan drag for the launch of her latest book, Angel Uncovered, Thursday morning at Borders Oxford Street in London.

This woman is a marketing machine. She just keeps churning out so much new product!

We're a tad bit envious.

How does she get her makeup to look so natural????? It looks like she's barely wearing any!

[Images via WENN.]

"Judge: Man, 94, Entrapped In Prostitution Sting"

Awww, poor pops! CLICK HERE to read the article accompanying this headline.

[Image via Sarasota Herald-Tribune.]

Judge: Bradenton Man, 94, Entrapped In Prostitution Sting

BRADENTON - A 94-year-old man whose arrest in a prostitution sting here caused an international buzz will not be prosecuted. A judge ruled Tuesday that Frank Milio was a victim of entrapment.

Milio, who has dementia, was unable to get into a care facility while his case was pending.

The undercover Manatee County Sheriff's Office detective on the street corner that afternoon in

November took 30 steps to go chat with Milio, who authorities say had honked his car horn at the woman to get her attention.

Milio, who turned 94 this month, stopped his car in a parking lot about 60 feet away from the woman, who was standing in an area where authorities regularly set up stings to nab johns. Milio did not flash his lights or say anything to lure the woman over. The woman opened his passenger side door and leaned inside.

"Do you want to party tonight?" the woman asked Milio, who replied that he wanted to think about it for another 15 to 20 minutes. The officer asked about money. She asked whether Milio wanted sex. Milio replied: "Huh?" Milio eventually offered to pay for oral sex.

Manatee County Judge George K. Brown Jr. weighed in Tuesday, tossing the misdemeanor case, in a six-page order that questions the extent to which the detective controlled the nature and direction of the sexual conversation.

"This particular 93-year-old man was encouraged and/or enticed to proceed with the police officer's direction of conversation," Brown wrote.

For Milio's attorney, Donald E. Grieco, the judge's decision vindicated an elderly man whose arrest made news across the nation and landed in the late-night monologues of David Letterman and Jay Leno. The Drudge Report picked up the Herald-Tribune's story on the case.

Milio, the attorney said, is an old man who enjoyed flirting with a pretty woman. Milio never had any intention to pay for sex.

Grieco did not blame the authorities, saying he applauds the efforts police take to combat prostitution.

But the attorney criticized the state's decision to file a charge against Milio, who lives alone in Bradenton and suffers from dementia.

"I'm very disappointed how the state attorney's office handled this case," Grieco said Tuesday. The facts, he said, did not support prosecution.

In June, Grieco filed court papers challenging Milio's arrest, and Brown presided over a hearing in which a video of the sting was played on a giant screen in court.

A prosecutor, Jared M. Monahan, said in court that Milio was well aware of what he was saying and requesting. Monahan dismissed the claim that Milio was enticed to offer money for sex. Milio could have driven away at any point, he said.

The judge's order, however, says the sequence of actions and conversation by the undercover officer "carried with it a substantial risk" that Milio would commit a crime.

After Milio's arrest, prosecutors declined to file a charge against another elderly Bradenton man accused in a solicitation sting in Bradenton — his second charge in 20 years.

That 93-year-old man promised to return several hours later with $30 to seal the deal. A prosecutor said the state was unable to prove the man intended to return.

The pending charge against Milio blocked him from getting into an assisted living facility, Grieco said.

That now may change.

"I am happy for Frank and his daughter that they can finally move on with his life," Grieco said. "He deserves it. Justice was served, in the end, for Frank."

Let me a take a stab at what's going on here: Paris Hilton's magical bra, which in defiance of God's Will makes her appear to have cleavage, is running low on unicorn tears. That, or her breasts are made of slowly melting ice cream. The flavor? Ben & Jerry's New "V.D. Cone Home." Look for it in your grocer's freezer. EDIT: Apparently, with the boob droopage in full effect, Paris tried to hook up with recently single soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo only to be shot down, according to the Daily Mail. Benji Madden would be pissed except he realizes he's Benji Madden and is just happy to touch a vagina. Thanks to Tom for the tip on Paris' crash and burn. I love a good heartwarming tale.

Hayden Panettiere (seen here at last night's ESPY awards) dropped her new music video "Wake Up Call" today, and I'll be the first to admit the song is fucking clown shoes. That said, I definitely saw Hayden's panties in the video, so who do I speak to about getting this thing an Oscar? It's hands down the greatest visual experience I've had since that time I watched BBC's Planet Earth on acid - which was this morning. On a related note, I'm a wombat. Video after the jump.

Andy Dick has finally grabbed the wrong pair of breasts. His drunken asshole antics got him arrested today after Andy walked out of a bar and pulled down a 17-year-old girl's top and bra, according to the AP:

Police were called to the Buffalo Wild Wings in Murrieta at about 1:13 a.m. to investigate a report of "an intoxicated male" urinating outside the bar and causing a disturbance, according to a police statement.
When they arrived, a 17-year-old girl told police that she was outside when Dick left the bar, walked up, "grabbed her tank top and bra and pulled them down and exposed her breasts," the statement said.
Dick was identified by the teenager and a witness, police said. Marijuana and the drug Xanax were found his pants pockets during a search and he appeared "extremely intoxicated," police said.

I'd say "extremely intoxicated" is an understatement. Judging by the mug shot above, Andy Dick probably thinks he's on the planet sanctuary moon of Endor. Now where's that Ewok he tried to fondle? And what is this strange tree he's inside of with this bald, tattooed gentleman who wants to snuggle?* *Please, join me in prayer that this man is the "shiv you in the abdomen" type. Amen.

Kim Kardashian's mom has been pushing for Kim to lose weight, and now so is her boyfriend Reggie Bush of the New Orleans Saints. Nothing like getting it from all sides. (Pun intended.) Page Six reports:

"He's been pushing her to work out hard," said our source. Sunday, Kardashian was overheard telling a friend at the opening of FUSE nightclub in Nashville that Bush made her run the dunes at Manhattan Beach in California.

"Run the dunes." Amazing. I'm looking forward pics of Kim doing laps in her heels every time they go out to eat. REGGIE: What'd you order, baby? KIM: Seafood alfredo - and a whole cheesecake. REGGIE: Day-amn! You're running behind the car tonight. KIM: But don't you love my trunk? All this junk inside my trunk? REGGIE: Woman, what I'd tell you 'bout that stereotypical bullshit? Reggie Bush is trying to save your life! Ha! I love these kids. NOTE: In a rush? Here's the butt shot. The Superficial: Working for you.

Britney Spears is in the studio working on her new album "with a team of top-notch producers and songwriters," according to her manager Larry Rudolph. He also shared the following insights on Britney's creative process with People:

"She's like, 'I want to go to the studio because I want to have some fun' and that's what it's all about. There's no schedule, there's no agenda, there's no anything. She is just enjoying herself."
In the studio, "She's giggly," he added. "Some days she'll go in and get nothing done. Some times she'll just play around a little bit."

In other words, Britney Spears plays with LEGOs on the couch while an entire team of professionals tries to make it look she can sing. Why do they even invite her to the studio? I'd just call her up one morning and say, "Hey, look, you've got an album coming out." To which she'll reply: "I love brownies!" And then we'll watch it climb the charts. The End.

Lindsay Lohan is on the straight and narrow, according to the judge presiding over her probation case stemming from last year's misdemeanor charges. Nothing like seeing a veritable booze tornado defy all odds and become a lesbian. *sniff* She was one of the greats. E! Online reports:

A Los Angeles judge agreed with the 22-year-old starlet's attorney today when he determined that Lohan had "proper attendance" and "no missed dates" regarding the various obligations she has been required to attend as part of her probation from 2007's twin-DUI debacle.

All I have to say is, they don't make overprivileged child stars like they used to anymore. Britney's cleaned herself up and now Lindsay. Christ, next you're going to tell me Paris Hilton has stop killing homeless men with her death vagina. I've traveled into a parallel universe, haven't I? I knew it. I bet I can fly in this one. Whee! UPDATE: So I don't have the power of flight. What I do have is the ability to bounce off the roof of a Prius into a bus. On that note, I'll be typing with my tongue from here on outpbpt. Damfit.