And it's time to expatriate. Apparently, Heidi Montag is a political force worthy of entertaining lunch with John McCain's daughter Meghan. The two met yesterday at the Ivy where Meghan tried her best to wish herself into her cell phone. I'm pretty sure, when her father loses in November, his campaign manager will point to these photos and say: "There. Right there. When Jugs Chinsterton smiles directly into the camera. That's the moment we were fucked. Well, that and the fact that, dude, you are old. Tell me a story about living with dinosaurs."

Former UFC champ Quinton "Rampage" Jackson was arrested yesterday after hitting a whole bunch of cars while attempting to elude police in Costa Mesa, Calif. In case you missed the headline, Rampage was driving a massive camoflauged Ford F-250 that kind of sort of had his face plastered on both driver AND passenger-side doors. I guess he was trying to compete with the Joker's smile mobile; I have no fucking clue. SI.com reports:

A Costa Mesa patrol officer attempted to pull Jackson over after he was seen weaving in and out of traffic with a flat front left tire, according to a release issued by the Costa Mesa Police Department. Jackson, 30, continued driving to avoid being stopped. Losing control of the truck, Jackson drove up onto a sidewalk. He continued on, colliding with a vehicle in an intersection and running several red lights.
Eventually, the truck came to a stop and Jackson, originally of Memphis, Tenn., was arrested without incident at gunpoint.

I'm going to assume that, somewhere after he hopped a curb then ran a couple of red lights, the following thought went through Rampage Jackson's head: "And my face is on the car isn't it? Super duper. Should've gone with Mr. T punching a tiger, Rampage. Oh, wow, that's a gun."

These are the much ballyhooed photos of Sienna Miller hanging out topless in Portofino, Italy with married actor Balthazar Getty of ABC's Brothers and Sisters. The dude has been denying in the press that he's involved with Sienna, but just in case, his wife is flying to Italy to sort things out, according to NY Daily News. I hope she likes nipples. NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that, for some reason, make me see Gilligan's Island in a whole new light.

These are promotional shots for Paris Hilton's new hair extension line DreamCatchers. You can check out the company site here if you absolutely hate your eyes, ears and sense of dignity. In the meantime, I've come up with some slogans to help Paris in her entrepreneurial pursuit: DreamCatchers: Because you've stopped taking your meds and stole your grandmother's purse. Get beautiful! DreamCatchers: Look we gave her some money and figured she'd choke on the extensions during the development process. Who knew? DreamCatchers: Or you can keep looking like a trash bag full of cottage cheese, Kim Kardashian. DreamCatchers: Because you know who gives great hair advice? Chicks with herpes. That's science. Hair science.

Eva Longoria is addressing recent pregnancy rumors that kicked into overdrive after her recent bikini pics while vacationing in Italy were released. Turns out she's allegedly packing on the pounds for the next season of Desperate Housewives which would explain these pics from the set and later that day getting dinner with Tony Parker. OK! Magazine reports:

“For the upcoming season of Desperate Housewives [Eva's character] Gabrielle has "gained" weight and cut her hair," says the actress' rep Liza Anderson. "She is now a worn-out mother with two kids. Eva has enjoyed a more relaxed environment and will even be wearing butt pads and stomach pads.”

Ha ha! Good excuse. I hope they name the kid "El Guapo" - after me. Okay, maybe that's not really my name, but since everybody's making shit up, I'd figured I'd get in on the action. Now, if you'll excuse me, El Guapo needs to play beach volleyball with his shirt off then fly a fighter jet in a dangerous mission to save Iceman. Or maybe he'll just take a nap under his desk. El Guapo is undecided.

It may be too little, too late – but architect Peter Cook now says he’s sorry for the tryst that destroyed his marriage to Christie Brinkley.

In 2006, the discovery of Cook’s yearlong affair with Diana Bianchi – a teenage employee at his firm – effectively ended his decade-long marriage to the supermodel.

If he had the chance to do it over, Cook told the Fox News Channel on Sunday, he’d say: “No, I’m a married man.”

Brinkley and Cook’s divorce trial ended Thursday, after a week of bruising testimony about his expensive online porn habit and alleged anger management issues.

The couple’s last-minute out-of-court settlement granted Brinkley, 54, custody of the duo’s two children and multiple real estate properties. Cook meanwhile got “parenting time” with Jack, 13, and Sailor, 10 – along with a payment of $2.1 million.

Over the weekend, the 49-year-old also told reporters he has no regrets about his union.

“I’ll never regret marrying her,” he told reporters Saturday, the New York Post reported. “We had a great time for 10 years. I’ve got two beautiful children.”

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When the moment finally came to welcome their newborn twins into the world, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were as calm as could be.

During the labor and delivery, the couple “were talking, they were together,” Dr. Michel Sussmann told reporters outside Fondation Lenval Hospital in Nice, France, where twins Vivienne Marcheline and Knox Leon were born on Saturday. “It was an epidural, so [Angelina] was awake and speaking and laughing. They were happy.”

Pitt never left Jolie’s side – “he was my assistant!” Sussmann said jokingly – and even cut the babies’ umbilical cords.

“He was … perfectly calm, totally determined, very pleased to be at the birth of his children, very moved and very emotional,” said Sussmann.

Asked whether the birth had been a textbook delivery, Sussmann replied, “absolutely no problems.”

When will Jolie and the babies leave the hospital? “I don’t know,” he said. “She will stay for a few days. You know, in Europe it isn’t like in the United States, where the patients go home after three days. They will stay a bit longer until everything is okay.”

He added: “The babies are fine. The babies are with the mother and father and they are fine.”

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Brad Pitt was at Angelina Jolie’s side as she gave birth to a son and daughter Saturday at the Fondation Lenval hospital in Nice, France.

“The babies are doing well. The operation went just perfectly,” Dr. Michel Sussmann said Sunday. “Angelina is in very good spirits. Brad Pitt was at her side. He was there and all was well.”

Sussmann confirmed the Nice-Matin newspaper report that Jolie gave birth to a boy, Knox Leon, and a girl, Vivienne Marcheline, by Cesarean section on Saturday night. Knox weighed 5.03 lbs, and Vivienne 5 lbs.

The twins are the fifth and sixth children for Jolie, 33, and partner Brad Pitt, 44, who are already parents to Maddox, 6; Pax, 4; Zahara, 3; and Shiloh, 2.

“The mother and father are very, very happy,” Sussmann said.

The doctor told the Associated Press that the Cesarean was moved forward “for medical reasons” so that the babies could be born “in the best conditions.” He also said Jolie is expected to stay in the hospital for a few days.

On July 1, Jolie checked in to the Fondation Lenval hospital to await the births. The family has been living in the south of France since this spring.

Jolie recently told Entertainment Weekly that she was surprised – but not daunted – when she learned she was having twins. “It did shock us, and we jumped to six [children] quickly,” she said. “But we like a challenge.”

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It was a family affair Saturday as Lynne Spears hung out with Britney and her sons Preston and Jayden for an overnight visit at the star’s Studio City home.

In town since Wednesday, Lynne and Britney have been enjoying some mother-daughter bonding, shopping at the True Religion warehouse and Pottery Barn on Friday before enjoying a “girls dinner” of salad, sushi rolls, and fish at Bond St. restaurant with two of Britney’s pals.

“Britney walked in with a big smile and introduced her mom to the staff,” says an observer. “She looked gorgeous, and I have never seen her in a better mood. She was laughing the whole time she was here. Britney seemed to have the best time hanging out with her mom and friends.”

Meanwhile, dad Jamie spent the weekend at his new house in Santa Monica.

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Jessica Simpson has encountered some skeptics since announcing her plan to leave pop music and go country, but don’t count Jewel among them.

Instead, the Nashville Star judge offers a warm country welcome to Simpson, whose debut single, “Come on Over,” has cracked the top 25 on the Mediabase country airplay chart.

“I really like Jessica. She’s always been such a sweet, sweet person,” Jewel says. “If I were going to give her any advice, I would say work hard and be authentic. Be true to who you are.”

If she does that, Jewel says, country fans will continue to embrace her. “The thing about country music is its fans have an excellent authenticity meter. They can spot bull—- a mile away,” Jewel says. “Anyone who comes to country music just to dabble in it, or who doesn’t know it or respect it as a genre and respect its history and tradition, is not going to make it.” That’s the same advice Jewel gives the contestants on the NBC reality competition Nashville Star, which she judges with John Rich and Jeffrey Steele.

And she should know. When it comes to her own music, including the recently released, chart-topping album, Perfectly Clear, Jewel is — well, perfectly clear that it ain’t her first rodeo in Nashville.

“I was raised on country music. It’s not as if I woke up one day and said, ‘I think I’ll be a country artist.’ I’m doing the same kind of music now that I have always done,” she says. ” If “You Were Meant For Me” (one of the hits from her first album Pieces of You) was released today, it would be a country song, I’d be signed to a Nashville label and my music would be promoted on country radio.”

In fact, Perfectly Clear is on a Nashville label (The Valory Music Co.), and the first single, “Stronger Woman,” is played on country radio. The new single, “I Do,” has just been released along with a video costarring her real-life boyfriend, rodeo cowboy Ty Murray.

Simpson’s wrote or co-wrote all but three of the songs on her first country album, due out this fall. No word on whether her real-life boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, will appear in any music videos.

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